


My roommate calls me pretty

by noraphi



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Blow Jobs, Bottom Yoo Kihyun, Crossdressing, Dirty Talk, Fantasizing, Hurt, M/M, Masturbation, Misunderstandings, Mouth Play, Past Showki, Phone Sex, Pining, Rimming, Roommates, Sexting, Smut, Top Lim Changkyun | I.M, changki action, changki stop being the biggest mess challenge, gender non-conforming, holy shit, joohyuk makes me so soft, kiho, kihyuk, this is such a mess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-25
Updated: 2018-11-18
Packaged: 2019-07-02 11:56:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 36,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15796041
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/noraphi/pseuds/noraphi
Summary: Kihyun has a new roommate and he's quite hot. How is he going to survive now that his libido is all over the place?OR: How I wanted this to be just writing practice for smut but then some plot sneaked in.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> My prediction: this will be a mess.  
> But I'm just trying to have fun here and practice my writing, please bear with me.

There’s too much light blinding Kihyun through his closed eyelids, forcing him to wake up. He groans into the pillow. A dull pain at the back of his head gives him a hint to expect a hangover. Slowly gaining consciousness, he starts counting all the cocktails he had last night. But his memory fails him after someone had pushed a zombie into his hand, drink number five. Wow. How did he even survive? Minhyuk for sure hasn’t been much of a help. He went missing around midnight, together with Jooheon, and Kihyun didn’t need to be sober to add one plus one.

He’s rolling onto his back, groaning once more, while putting an arm over his eyes to shield himself from the morning light. He remembers flashbacks of a crowded dance floor, a handsome guy, a lot of grinding and wait a moment-- Is he even at home? Kihyun forces himself to open an eye, peeking into the room and-- Thank god, he’s in his own room. Closing his eyes again, he sighs in relief. In his current state a walk of shame would’ve been twice as unpleasant and he had definitely overslept the latest acceptable time to keep his dignity. So what happened to the handsome guy? Oh shit. Kihyun is afraid to turn around. He hesitantly slides his free arm along hisleft side of the bed, searching for any kind of regrets he might’ve brought home. But his hand doesn’t bump into anything or anyone and he finally finds the guts to open both eyes, assuring himself that he’s alone. The following relief lets him sink further into the cushions. He’s glad his drunken self must have remembered the promise he’d given himself to stop bringing home strangers. Most of them overstaying their welcome, hoping for something more than a one night stand but Kihyun is very picky in terms of commitment. He has special needs that aren’t easy to fulfill and so far both of his serious relationships ended because one boyfriend grew tired of his high maintenance and the other felt uncomfortable with certain requests. What a pity. Honestly. Especially his last boyfriend had been a nine out of ten. If he’d just let him wear that skirt while fucking, he’d have married him. No joke. But what can you do, when your partner can’t keep up with your kink? You could compromise, sure. Or you could admit to yourself that sex is a big deal in your life and just let go. That won’t save you from tears and regrets after the break up, that’s for sure, but at least you part ways as friends and don’t keep stalling until everything falls apart in a fight.

Kihyun yawns and stretches himself, enjoying the whole width of his bed. Scratching his chest he notices amused that he might’ve been sober enough to change into his favorite sleepshirt but not sober enough to button it up correctly. He missed the correct sequence by at least two buttons and the angle of the fabric feels kinda off.  
He starts unbuttoning the shirt to adjust the order and can’t help but remember at the same time Hyunwoo’s hands working their way past the fabric and onto his skin. Warmth is spreading through Kihyun’s body and he doesn't mind. It’s really hard to not think about his ex here. It’s his shirt after all and in all honesty Kihyun doesn’t feel ashamed of still wearing it. On the contrary, it still makes him feel really good.  
Hyunwoo’s been a really tall and broad guy. Accordingly, the shirt is way too big for Kihyun, emphasizing his small and delicate frame and he loves drowning in all this fabric. He’s aware of his own body being so much more feminine and it’s triggering his kink. Hyunwoo had the gift to make him feel so petite. So good. So incredibly sexy. Ah, really, such a pity.  
Kihyun even doesn’t bother with buttoning the shirt up again. He lets one hand glide towards one of his nipples. They’re already hard and a shiver runs down his spine. He’s bending one knee for his other hand to stroke along his thigh and the fabric slides down towards his hips. The sensation makes him moan while his arousal becomes very obvious, bulging his boxers. Pressing his arm against his mouth, he bites himself as a reminder to keep quiet. He doesn't know if his new roommate is already up or even home but if so, he really doesn't want him to find out so soon how vocal Kihyun could be. Although he really wouldn't mind him being the reason for screaming. 

When he opened the apartment door a week ago to welcome Changkyun, Kihyun didn't expect to be blessed with the sight of such a handsome face. He agreed on this arrangement solemnly on Jooheon’s recommendation. He’s been childhood friends with Changkyun and described him as a smart kid, who skipped a year in high school and was now going to start his maths studies at the same uni they all went to. Naturally, Kihyun's mind pulled out all the stereotypes, imagining a nerdy looking kid with horn-rimmed glasses and tweed pants. Instead he found himself in front of an illegally attractive guy, wearing old skool vans, tight black ripped jeans and a white shirt, stating he wasn't a rapper. 

Kihyun felt intrigued by the way his new roommate was leaning against the door frame, gazing at him from under black bangs, and he can’t stop himself imagining Changkyun standing like that in the door frame of his room right now, watching Kihyun, half undressed, touching himself. He slows down the movement of his hand, sliding down his chest and further down, teasing himself and his imaginary observer. Heat is spreading faster through his body now, coloring his cheeks and Kihyun feels seductive, wondering if Changkyun would think the same seeing him like this.  
Suddenly Kihyun feels guilty about his thoughts and rolls onto his stomach, hiding his face in the pillow, hoping to calm down his mind. But the blanket ruffled up between his legs presses against his crotch and he unconsciously starts rocking into it, hardly holding back a moan.

He knows he shouldn’t cross the line and keep his thoughts about his roommate strictly asexual. It might’ve even worked out just fine, but the moment Changkyun had opened his mouth and drowned Kihyun in that sweet deep voice of his, all reasonable resolutions went down the drain and Kihyun whines in frustration, while rocking once more against the blanket.

On their first evening together they met in the kitchen and Changkyun was hesitant about addressing Kihyun. “Sorry, I don't know how to call you,” he said, his soft and low voice making Kihyun pray to the gods. Call me baby and I’ll get down on my knees for you, he thought shamelessly and opened the fridge to cool himself down. He gripped a bottle of water and closed the fridge again. “Hyung is fine,” he answered as collected as possible. But the fantasy hasn't left him since.

Kihyun can see himself sitting between Changkyun's legs, gripping tightly onto his thighs and licking the tip of his cock.  
He puts his own hand to his mouth licking his fingers like he’d lick his roommate, imagining them to be the real deal. And then he slides his hand further into his mouth, sucking gently at first, but getting greedier when his own dick starts twitching. Kihyun wishes Changkyun was here grabbing his hair and pushing himself into his mouth, like he’s just deep throating his hand and Kihyun groans from the way too heavy arousal. He’s still rocking his hips into the sheets but, ah shit, he can't take it anymore and removes the hand from his mouth. He pushes down his briefs and grabs his cock firmly with his wet hand. When he starts pumping his full length it just takes a few strokes before he bites down into the pillow, muffling his scream while releasing himself onto the blanket.

After the orgasm he’s still panting.The tingling in his head is intense and he knows he must be really fucked up fantasizing like this about his roommate. But the remorse is just limited. He feels too good after cuming that hard. 

Kihyun wipes his hand on the blanked, it's dirty anyway, adjusts his briefs and buttons up his shirt not caring about the right order anymore. After stripping the bedding and throwing it to the floor, (he’ll deal with that later,) he leaves his room, running a hand through his messed up hair, walking towards the bathroom. 

His roommate sits on the couch in the living room, PS4 controller in his hands, noticing Kihyun walking by. “Good morning,” he says and Kihyun wonders how long it'll take to get used to this damn attractive tone.

“Good morning.”

“You look wrecked,” Changkyun states.

Kihyun just snorts “Yeah, I feel fucked,” he replies and disappears into the bathroom.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for kudos and comments! They make me really really happy ♡
> 
> Here's a little something before we get to some (smut-ish) action in the next chapter. Kihyun even gives a hint on what to anticipate next.

Kihyun joins his best friend sitting at a table on campus. It’s one of these beautiful golden autumn days when the air is already slightly fresh, but the sun is still warming their backs so much, they don’t have to wear their coats yet.  
The surface of the table is scattered with books and papers. Kihyun can hardly find a free spot to put down the two cups of coffee he brought. “If your essays are just half as messy as your study methods, you’re really in trouble”, he says and slides some notes away to free his hand from Minhyuk’s cup, before taking a few sips from his own.

“Listen, I can handle chaos, I’m a genius,” he responds while typing on his notebook.

“I’ll believe that, if you can quote that proverb correctly AND tell me who originally said it.” Kihyun takes off his shoulder bag one handed and then goes through his hair with his free hand because the strap had touched a few strands.

“I might not remember the exact wording but I also don’t trust in Einstein's originality after reading about his wife.” Without looking up he grabs his coffee and takes a sip, careful not to burn his tongue. But to his disappointment the coffee is just lukewarm. He looks up at Kihyun, reproachful. “Why is this coffee not hot? How long have you been gone?”

“I’m impressed you’ve been so focused on your assignment you haven’t missed me at all. That’s a new level of commitment. Cheers to you!” Kihyun raises his cup to his friend before taking another sip.

Minhyuk snaps his notebook close. “Stop bullshitting me. You’re not strolling the campus just for fun. Tell me what happened.” He leans back, already guessing the reason for his friend’s distress by the way how Kihyun’s cheeks seem a bit more rosy than usual.

Kihyun sighs. “I’ve been just distracted on my way out of the cafeteria, okay? Nothing wild.” He sinks further into the bench, leaning his head against the wooden backrest, biting the plastic lid of his cup while avoiding Minhyuk’s stare.

“You saw Changkyun.” It wasn’t a question and Minhyuk's grin was almost audible.

“Maybe,” Kihyun answers cautiously, afraid, his best friend might read too much into it. But Minhyuk is right, of course. 

He was just about to leave the cafeteria when he spotted Changkyun being busy with his notebook, sitting near the exit by the windows.  
Kihyun stopped in his tracks, staring, while people were bumping into him, complaining about him blocking their way. He unconsciously backed off a few steps to let his fellow students pass, while he continued to study his favorite subject.  
Changkyun was wearing his usual colors, white shirt and black jeans. But the glasses were new. Kihyun had never seen them before. They made him look older, more mature, if that’s even possible, and Kihyun liked it a lot. He didn’t even notice himself wetting his lips. With these glasses he could easily imagine Changkyun teaching one of his English classes. In his fantasy, he could see himself entering Mr. Im’s office in his favorite tartan mini skirt. He locked the door carefully behind himself and walked up to Changkyun’s desk. He started unbuttoning his blouse, showing off his collarbone when the soft fabric slid down one side, revealing a shoulder. Kihyun knew Mr. Im would like that very much. He was watching Kihyun from over his round glasses, dark eyes following every move of his fingers until shifting to his eyes, staying there. Kihyun’s body felt hot from all this attention. He needed more and let himself slide onto the table not caring about papers or books being pushed to the floor. Sitting in front of Changkyun, he started to take off his shoes. He let one naked foot glide carefully along Mr. Im’s leg and then up his thigh until reaching the armrest of his chair, breaking their eye contact only for a second to acknowledge the prominent bulge in Mr. Im’s pants. Oh, he liked that. He liked that a lot. Kihyun led his other foot to the other armrest and leaned back on his hands, spreading his legs for the man in front of him. Kihyun was very patient in observing the other man’s reaction. And then Mr. Im finally lifted a hand, skimming gently over the soft skin of Kihyun’s leg, making him almost moan from the satisfaction. Changkyun started to place delicate kisses on one of Kihyun’s calves, while keeping their eyes locked and Kihyun felt all the unspoken promises thickening the air. He shivered in anticipation.  
At this point, someone bumped into him again, waking him up from his daydream and he groaned in frustration. Still holding two cups of coffee in his hands, he swings his hips to move his shoulder bag in front of his crotch. And the award for the most obvious pervert on campus goes to… Then suddenly Changkyun looked up from his notebook and spotted Kihyun standing near the exit. The younger man lazily raised a hand in greeting and Kihyun warned himself to keep his composure. That kid might be smart but he can't read minds, he thought and felt safe despite of all the guilt still throbbing in his pants. So he didn’t hesitate and just smiled at his roommate as if nothing was going on and waved back as good as he could with a cup of coffee in his hand. He then walked out of the cafeteria, his jeans still uncomfortably tight. 

“Did you pop a boner in public?” Minhyuk asks, amusement glittering in his eyes.

“N-No.” Kihyun feels his cheeks getting warm. “M-Maybe.” There's no point in lying. In contrast to Changkyun, Minhyuk CAN read minds. Hell knows how. That demon child is no joke.

Minhyuk laughs out loud. “The effect he has on you is amazing.”

“He’s just shiny and new. It'll stop eventually.”

“Yeah sure. I saw you both together, he's totally your type.” 

“What makes you think that? You know I like them bigger.”

“Yeah, but maybe his shoulders are broader and you look tiny and cute beside him.”

“MIN, PLEASE, don't say that,” Kihyun groans, closing his eyes and squeezing the bridge of his nose. “It's hard enough without you nurturing my kink.”

“The only thing hard here is your dick.” Minhyuk laughs again. “But he might like it, have you thought about that?”

“Yeah, I mean NO!” Kihyun straightens up on the bench. “I definitely won't cross that line! It’ll just send him running and he’s actually a really good roommate.”

“Oho.” Minhyuk leans forward, supporting his head with both arms. ”Tell me more.”

“He’s really clean- Don’t laugh, you know what I mean!- I’ve never been into his room, but he leaves all the common rooms as tidy as if he'd never been there. I’ve never seen a piece of his laundry, he cleans the dishes immediately after eating, he puts his shoes into the shoe rack each time he comes home, I didn’t see any stains on the bathroom mirror so far... Can you imagine how hard it is to find such a good roommate?”

“Ki, you're head over heels.” Minhyuk's grin spreads wider than the ocean.

“What? No! Shut up! I told you, it's not a big deal. I’ll meet Hoseok hyung later. He’ll fuck me into nirvana and I won't care anymore.”

“Oh, I’ll believe that, if you can name one problem that has been solved with your sex obsession.”

Kihyun wants to punch that stupid smug face in front of him. Instead, he just energetically puts down his cup on one of Minhyuk's paper sheets, hoping with all his burning soul it'll leave some stains. “Fuck you,” he says, grabs his bag and leaves.


	3. Chapter 3

Hoseok opens the door and Kihyun enters the apartment without any greeting. He throws his bag in front of the shoe rack and walks past it while slipping off his shoes somewhere on his way to the bedroom. “You coming or what?” he asks and takes off his sweater, dropping it to the floor before disappearing in the next room.  
Hoseok follows Kihyun, leaning against the door frame to his bedroom, an amused smirk on his face. “Hello to you, too, I guess. What got you so worked up?”

“Don’t ask and just drop your clothes already,” he replies in need of more action and less talk. He needs his stupid mind to shut up and he needs his body exhausted and satiated. Why is it so hard to get what he wants right now? Hoseok’s uncooperative interrogation irritates him. He throws his shirt carelessly away and then reaches for the button on his pants. 

Hoseok closes the gap between them, putting a hand on Kihyun’s head, making him stop in his tracks. “Don't get me wrong,” Hoseok says softly, playing with Kihyun’s curly hair. “I love your wild side, okay? But you throwing clothes left and right is kinda concerning.” He lets his hand slide down to Kihyun’s cheek, cupping his face with both hands. “Are you alright, sweetheart?” 

Kihyun melts into the touch, closes his eyes and sighs. Finally. Finally someone giving him the attention he needs so much. Hoseok always knows which buttons to push and he really needs him to push several of them right now. “I’m fine,” he says, but he’s not. This day has been exhausting beyond his emotional capacity.

The whole afternoon he’s been angry over Minhyuk’s shitty comment. It had been such a low blow. As if Kihyun didn’t know himself. As if he didn’t know about all the good things he’d lost or pushed away because they hadn’t been enough, hadn’t been perfect enough. And Minhyuk of all people had no right to make jokes about it. 

Opening his eyes, he feels a little bit more at ease now. Hoseok is his safe space. He’s big and beautiful. He knows how to handle him, how to treat him the way he needs so much. They both clicked the second they had laid eyes on each other.  
They had met a few months ago in a club Kihyun visited on a regular basis. He felt so good that night, wearing his favorite lacy black dress. Minhyuk had gifted him a really cute black wig with a classy shoulder length haircut and he loved it. He felt cute, sexy, tipsy, the best combination. On his way to the bar he tripped over his own feet and found himself flushed against a big chest. A strong arm was holding him close so he wouldn't fall. “Careful, hun. You okay?” Hoseok asked with a handsome smile and a glint in his eyes, making Kihyun feel wanted at first sight.  
Later they were making out and Kihyun got to the point it became really painful hiding his hard-on tightly tucked away under the dress.  
“Wait,” he said, interrupting their kiss and gasping for air. “I don't know how drunk you are, I just wanna make sure… You know I’m a guy, right?” He already had several situations ending with disappointment because the other party couldn't handle his dick. But Hoseok pulled Kihyun closer. “Babe, I don't care what you are, you're fucking gorgeous and I want you in my bed asap.” At that, Kihyun couldn't hold back the precum, wetting his underwear.

Hoseok still has this effect on him. Making him all putty in his hands with just a few words. He’ll make him feel alright in no time, Kihyun is sure of it. He puts his arms around Hoseok’s neck and pulls himself slightly up until their lips meet in a soft and careful touch. Hoseok's hand glides onto Kihyun’s lower back and he pulls their hips flush together. Kihyun enjoys the friction but the moment he feels Hoseok growing bigger against him, his hunger becomes maddening. He deepens their kiss, opening their lips in search for Hoseok's tongue and moans when the desired wetness meets him halfway. Heat rushes down to his groin, throbbing with the rhythm of his heartbeat. Kihyun's hand finds its way under Hoseok's shirt. Touching these beautiful firm abs makes Kihyun’s mind tingle teasingly. The thought Hoseok could lift him up without much effort gets him really going. He still remembers the one time Hoseok had pushed him up against a wall while fucking him senseless. “Ah, shit,” Kihyun groans, already breathless and quickly forcing Hoseok out if his shirt.

Hoseok chuckles, letting the shirt fall to the floor. “So, it’s just a quicky tonight? I was hoping for more.”

“Don't worry, hun. I brought the stockings,” Kihyun replies, leading Hoseok onto the bed. “The lacy ones, you like so much. But we’ll use them later, okay? I just really need you to fuck my brains out right now.” Because Kihyun wants nothing on his mind but Hoseok's beautiful cock. He wants to forget about Minhyuk and everything that went wrong in his life. And most importantly, he wants to forget about his roommate, who’s apparently out there just to torture him.

Kihyun had been lying lazily on the couch, occupied with his phone when Changkyun walked passed him towards the kitchen, wet-haired and with nothing dressed but his sweatpants.  
Kihyun really tried to keep his gaze focused on his phone, but then he heard the fridge being opened and closed. A hissing sound followed and Kihyun couldn’t stop himself from raising his eyes at Changkyun. He watched him drinking a coke like it was a fucking TV ad. One of those stupid ones, making a hot male carry something heavy 20+ floors up to a woman's apartment, just to make her and her girlfriends drool over him gulping down a coke, while he’s all sweaty and heavily breathing and it fucking worked. Kihyun would like to buy all the coke in the world, just to see his roommate do that again. A few drops of water were running from Changkyun’s hair down to his neck and the movement of his Adam’s apple made Kihyun swallow hard. His gaze was led by a beautiful curve of spine to Changkyun’s hips. He wore his sweatpants slightly under his hip bones, revealing a lot and nothing at all. Kihyun allowed himself to wonder if Changkyun was shaved. He really hoped he wasn’t, feeling an instant urge to bury his face in his roommate’s manly scent, while Changkyun's cock would be pressed against his throat.

Kihyun coughed to stop a moan and forced his eyes back at his phone as if to save his life, silently cursing.

“Hyung,” Changkyun called him, coming out of the kitchen, the coke still in his hand.

Kihyun looked up from his phone so casual he deserved a fucking Oscar. “Mh?”

Changkyun sat down on the armrest of the armchair near the couch. “I invited some friends over for tonight, I hope you don’t mind.”

“No, I’m meeting a friend later and won’t be home anyway.” Kihyun gave Changkyun a reassuring smile before averting his gaze back to the screen, pretending to scroll through his twitter feed. He should’ve changed his major to acting. Maybe it’s still not too late to do so.

“Are you coming home late then?”

“Probably?” Kihyun answered, still scrolling through a blurry mess.

“Call me, if you need me to pick you up.”

Kihyun stopped, looking up again. “W-What?”

“You shouldn’t walk home alone in the dark.” Changkyun took a sip from his coke as if he didn't just offer him the most boyfriendy thing ever.

Kihyun’s heart dared to flutter for a second and he swallowed this feeling down so fast he hoped nobody had noticed. He could deal with a boner but he wasn't willing to deal with butterflies. “No,” he replied, giving himself a silent warning. “It's fine. My friend can walk me home.” And then he excused himself to get ready. He hoped it wasn't too obvious that he was forcing himself not to run. Acting major, my ass.

Kihyun slides now onto the sheets with Hoseok on top of him. He opens his legs and whimpers in frustration when their hips meet but there’s still too much fabric between them. He reaches down to Hoseok’s pants and wants them gone immediately but Hoseok stops him. He pulls Kihyun’s hand to his lips. “Babe, if you want a second round, I can't make you sore now.” he says, kissing the back of the hand. “Because I really need you to ride me then.”

Kihyun sighs in heated frustration. “I don't care how you do it, just hurry and make me stop thinking.” He leads Hoseok’s hand to his own lips and puts Hoseok’s fingers into his mouth. He starts licking and sucking them and Hoseok hisses. 

“Shit, you’re so needy today.” Hoseok pushes his fingers further into Kihyun’s mouth and Kihyun breathes in through his nose to suppress his gag reflex but still whimpers with need and pressure pulsing through his dick. Hoseok takes his hand out of Kihyun's mouth too soon, leaving him empty with saliva running down at the corners.

“Hyung, please…” Kihyun begs, his body so desperate it starts shaking.

Hoseok uses his now wet fingers to caress Kihyun’s hard nipple. He leans down to suck on it and Kihyun arches his back in pleasure. “Don’t worry, babe, I got you,” Hoseok promises and slides further down, leaving kisses on his way to Kihyun’s pants. Reaching the zipper, the younger presses his hands on top of Hoseok's to stop him.

“Wait,” he whispers, opening the zipper himself, carefully, revealing his painfully hard and flushed cock without a second piece of fabric in between.

“Since when are you going commando?” Hoseok smirks.

“Shut up,” Kihyun says annoyed but still covering his eyes to hide the embarrassment and Hoseok laughs.

He peels the skinny jeans from Kihyun’s legs, throwing the unwelcome cloth to the floor. “Come on, turn around for me.”

With shaking legs, Kihyun turns himself onto his knees. He can’t help it and presses his lifted ass needily against Hoseok's crotch and groans into the sheets beneath him.

Hoseok grabs Kihyun’s hips firmly and rubs his still clothed cock against that sweet ass in front of him. A deep groan escapes his throat.

“Oh god, hyung please…,” Kihyun begs again, his over aroused cock twitching upwards against his stomach, leaving a wet spot of precum. He wants Hoseok’s big dig inside him so bad, he bites into the sheets and moans so loud it sends shivers through his whole body.

“Shit, Kihyunah, make that noise again and there will be no round two after all.” He rubs his hips once more against Kihyun and the younger can feel the meaning of Hoseok’s words in the rock-hard cock pressing against his rim.

Hoseok puts suddenly some distance between them and Kihyun groans feeling cold around the naked skin. Then Hoseok spreads Kihyun’s cheeks and without any warning, he licks all the way up, from the taint to his anus, and Kihyun grasps for air. 

He gets no time to process his luck when Hoseok starts playing with his balls and increases the pressure on the taint with his tongue. Kihyun clings to any fabric he can grab while shamelessly moaning loud enough for the whole building to hear. The electricity is almost unbearable when Hoseok sucks and licks Kihyun's rim like it's the most delicious ice cream. Simultaneously, Hoseok grabs Kihyun's dick, stroking it's full length before starting to jerk him off in a fast pace.

“Hyung,” Kihyun pants into the cushions, so close it almost hurts. “I’ll dirty your sheets.” 

“That's what I want, baby.” And that's what sends Kihyun over the edge immediately. He spills his release all over the fabric beneath him, screaming swear words he never used before.

Kihyun collapses to the side in complete bliss. The tingling in his face is so intense, he thinks he's going to pass out. His body starts to calm down with each heavy breath and so is his mind. It's finally empty of unnecessary thoughts and blazed with endorphins. Kihyun sighs relieved.

He watches Hoseok leaving the room and returning with two towels. “I guess I’ll clean up while you enjoy the exhaustion,” Hoseok says amused, patting Kihyun's limp body dry. 

Meanwhile Kihyun runs his hand through Hoseok’s hair, needing the proximity. “Thanks,” he says, playing with some black strands until Hoseok finishes his work on him and turns to the mess on the sheets.

“For what? Giving you orgasms or cleaning you up?” He chuckles, wiping the sheets as good as possible, maybe making it worse.

“For being a good friend,” Kihyun replies and Hoseok laughs out loud.

“You’re welcome.” He puts the dirty cloth away and covers the still wet spot with the second towel. “You wanna talk about it?”

“No, I’m glad I can’t remember my own name right now.”

Hoseok, done with the clean up, lies down next to Kihyun, supporting his head with an arm. He strokes the younger’s hair out of his eyes, revealing some forehead. “Too bad, ‘cuz it’s as pretty as you.”

“Don’t be cheesy,” Kihyun rolls his eyes. “But please call me pretty one more time.” He leans forward, brushing his lips against Hoseok’s.

Hoseok slides his hand under Kihyuns chin, adjusting the angle. He leaves a soft kiss on Kihyun’s lips. “Babe, you’re so pretty.” He adds another kiss. “And so sexy.” One more. “And I’m really hard for you.”

Kihyun laughs giddily and puts his arms around Hoseok, smiling widely into the next kiss. He presses himself against the big body and Hoseok pulls him closer instantly. Kihyun gasps, melting into Hoseok’s strength and the feeling of being held tightly.

Then Hoseok grabs Kihyuns thigh, pulling it up to his waist, pressing their hips together.

“How much more time do you need?” Hoseok asks with a deep and hungry tone.

“How long does it take you to put the stockings on my legs?” Kihyun replies with a grin.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kihyuk ❤

Kihyun is sitting on the couch in his apartment with the back against the armrest and his feet are tucked under Minhyuk's butt for the warmth of it. With his notebook on his thighs, he tries to focus on his assignment but his best friend, constantly moving and shouting at the TV in front of him, starts getting on his nerves. He rubs his eyes, weighing the consequences of taking the PS4 controller away from him but settles with surrendering to the noise. The assignment can wait. He pulls out his phone and grins at the new message he’s received from Hoseok.

 _Babe, you still thinkin about it? cuz I do._

Oh yes, Kihyun does, too. A lot actually. Especially since Hoseok had left him several hickeys on both his inner thighs, starting his sweet torture directly where the thigh high stockings had ended. Every time Kihyun changes clothes now, he feels the need to touch those marks and when he does, it sends him shivers all over his body. It's not only the memory of someone else's lips caressing one of his most sensitive spots but also the feeling of proximity, the evidence of someone giving him attention and claiming his body.. Kihyun can't deny that he needs more of it. He wants more visible validation. Something to remind him, that he's wanted. Something to--

“AH, MIN WHAT THE FUCK?” He rubs his twinging calf after Minhyuk had pinched him maliciously and Kihyun kicks him lightly in return.

“You ignored me! I was talking to you!” Minhyuk, for once looking at Kihyun instead of the game, gives his friend another pinch.

“Stop it! I didn't ignore you. I was just thinking about… stuff.” Kihyun puts his phone on the coffee table.

“Yeah, sure. If Hoseok hyung is such a good fuck that you keep spacing out, have you thought about dating him?” Minhyuk turns back to the TV, a new round of GT Racing about to start.

Kihyun sighs. “I don't need to date him to get the fun I need.” He tugs his feet back under Minhyuk’s bottom. 

Minhyuk snorts. “That’s strange. I always thought you're more the domestic type rather than a fuckboy, but what do I know? We’re just best friends since kindergarten.” The race starts and Minhyuk leans forward, abusing the controller.

“So what? Am I not allowed to change?” Kihyun scrolls through his essay on the notebook, unsatisfied with the word count.

“Do you want my opinion as a psychology major or as your friend? DAMN IT THAT FUCKWIT!” Minhyuk screams at the game, losing his advantage in the race.

“Maybe just shut up?” Kihyun is ready to throw him out, best friend or not. Working on his assignment in quiet suddenly moved up in his priorities. Didn't Minhyuk have a shift at the bar tonight anyway?

There’s a rustling at the front door and Changkyun enters the apartment.

“Kyunah! My favorite mvp!” Minhyuk waves with both hands holding the controller, the race still on.

“Hey, hyung. What's up?” Changkyun takes off his vans and puts them on the shoes rack. Kihyun smiles to himself, never tired of watching this. Tidy men are so sexy. It makes you want to mess them up and leave lipstick spots on their collar. However-

“Kyunah,” Kihyun says, getting his facial expression under control. “There are some leftovers in the fridge.” He can sense Minhyuk rolling his eyes.

“Cool, thanks.” But Changkyun looks tired and only goes to the kitchen to pick up a bottle of water. He takes a sip while coming back to the living area and Minhyuk pauses the game.

“Kyunah,” he says with a sheepish grin. “Do you think Kihyun is more the domestic type or would you rather think of him as a fuckboy?”

Changkyun chokes on the water and coughes. “What?”

“MIN, WHAT THE-” Kihyun kicks his friend almost off the couch. “SHUT UP!”

“WHAT? I’m just gathering opinions here!” Minhyuk sits back up. “The boy’s smart, he must’ve figured you out by now!” He pushes Kihyun's legs back and Kihyun reacts instinctively to save the notebook from falling to the floor.

“He has no interest in your stupid shit talk!” He closes the notebook und puts it under the couch before kicking his friend again with more force. 

Minhyuk gets hold of Kihyun’s legs and presses himself against them. “This is for science! I need more data!”

“So,... I’ll be in my room.” Changkyun excuses himself and leaves the two to their bickering.

When they hear the room door close, they both collapse exhausted on the cushions.

“You know you’re no fuckboy, right?” Minhyuk asks, still panting.

“I know,” Kihyun whispers, staring at the ceiling.

“So, do what you have to do but take care of yourself, okay?”

“I thought that’s what I’m doing.”

He and Hoseok had that talk. They both had agreed on being friends with benefits and Kihyun felt relieved when Hoseok confessed that he wasn’t into relationships these days. Because Kihyun wasn’t either. He had learned to enjoy things without adding the heavy burden of all those expectations that come along with the tag of a relationship. Kihyun just had too much of them, expectations that is. Too many needs that had to be satisfied in order to make it work. He’s also tired of being rejected. People always like some parts of him but never him as a whole. It’s frustrating and he suddenly feels lonely. He pulls Minhyuk down to him and cuddles up in hope the bitterness will go away.

Minhyuk pats Kihyun’s head, stroking his hair. “Mh? What’s wrong, baby?”

“Don’t call me baby, you’re not allowed anymore.” But Kihyun still softens in Minhyuk’s carass.

Minhyuk chuckles. “So, you also don’t want me to call you cute and pretty?” He turns himself on top of Kihyun and nuzzles his nose into Kihyun’s neck.

“Stop it.” Kihyun puts an arm over his eyes, trying to hide the wave of heat running up his body and sighs. “That’s not fair.” They stopped being intimate with each other years ago but Minhyuk still has that power over him. It really isn't fair.

Minhyuk quickly puts some distance between them and laughs it off. “Don’t tell me, it still turns you on when I do that.” He sits up and looks for the controller.

Kihyun finds the controller at his side and hands it to him. “It doesn’t,” he lies.

Minhyuk switches the PS4 off und reaches for the TV remote. “Yes, it does. You’re lisp comes through the more aroused you are.”

“Wait, WHAT?!” Kihyun jumps up into a sitting position. “You’re lying.” 

“Oh, you wish.” Minhyuk starts switching through the TV program. “I sometimes still think about you in front of me, all messed up and begging me to do things to you with that sweet lisp of yours. It’s really the hottest thing.”

“WHAT?! Why didn’t you ever tell me?!”

“And what? Make you self-conscious about it? I wish Jooheon would lisp like that for me. I might come untouched. I’m not kidding.”

Kihyun rubs his eyes in distress. “You should’ve told me. I need to move out, asap.”

“Don’t worry,” Minhyuk laughs and ruffles through Kihyun’s hair. “You’re roommate probably didn’t make the connection yet and just thinks you’re cute.”

Kihyun groans, fixing his hair. He throws himself onto the cushions. He’d like it if Changkyun thought of him as cute, of course. But not for the lisp. Please not for this stupid lisp, he’s been working so hard to hide it. “Please, shoot me.”

“Nope. Not today.” And they both fall silent, following their own train of thoughts.

After a while of watching TV together Kihyun nudges Minhyuk with his foot again. “Did you tell him?”

“Mh? Did I tell what to whom?” He keeps his focus on the TV.

“Jooheon. About us?”

“No, why? It's in the past. He didn't tell me about any of his exes either.”

“Yeah, but although we’re in the past, I’m still kinda in your life. He might want to know.”

“Ki,” Minhyuk sighs. “I can't tell him, okay?” He suddenly looks tired and sad.

“He’ll find out sooner or later. Better he’d hear it from you.” Kihyun can’t help but feel sad himself. Jooheon seemed like a pretty chill guy but you could never know. Most partners don’t support close friendships to exes. But Kihyun also doesn’t want to end up as Minhyuk’s dirty little secret.

“Did you tell Hyunwoo about us?” Minhyuk asks, playing with the remote control.

“Yeah, I did. He said he’d be ok with a threesome and I told him I wasn't because I wanted all his attention to myself.” Kihyun had actually mentioned Minhyuk on his second date with Hyunwoo. He liked to get certain things straight before getting too attached. Unfortunately, there had been a few more things he’d better mentioned on that same date. The skirt thing for example. Well, you learn from your mistakes. 

“And here I thought he was a more conservative kind of guy.”

“Min, he was joking. I wasn't. Case closed.” Kihyun takes the remote out of Minhyuk's hands and switches some channels until he finds a cooking show he likes to watch.

Minhyuk sighs. “What if he gives me an ultimatum?”

“Then you'll choose the future over the past,” Kihyun says without hesitation but a lump is forming in his throat. He definitely won’t cry because the only person he can call home might have to leave him behind. Definitely not. Minhyuk’s a pain in the ass anyway.

Minhyuk pokes Kihyun's thigh. “Don't we have this conversation because you're not the past?”

“But maybe I should be.” Maybe he really should. Maybe he should’ve taken the hint three years ago when they had broken up. When Minhyuk had broken up with him. You don’t stay when someone doesn’t want you anymore, do you? Maybe he should’ve left. Starting a new life, working at a strip club, all that fancy stuff you do when you feel broken and want nothing else but run away and never come back. Kihyun still remembers the pain, when Minhyuk had told him that he was too much. That Kihyun wanted too much. That Minhyuk felt like shit not being enough for Kihyun. That their relationship was too exhausting. That he couldn't fucking breathe anymore.  
They had fought for a week and haven’t been talking to each other for twice as long. But they made it work again. Somehow a miracle happened and they made it back to being best friends. Maybe some hurt stayed behind, hidden in snarky and sometimes mean comments but they were family again and Kihyun didn’t want to lose that. He didn’t go through all this shit to fucking lose him again. But he would go, Kihyun promises himself. If Minhyuk asks him, he’ll make room for Jooheon. He’d definitely go and give him all the space he needs to get that happiness he wasn’t able to give him. He owes him that much, doesn't he?

“Ki. Don't cry.” He isn’t. Kihyun told himself he’d definitely not cry, so he isn't. But Minhyuk closes the gap between them and presses Kihyun's cheeks together until his lips are forced into a pout. “I love you, ok?” He wipes a tear away with his thumb and Kihyun sniffs a few times. “I won't leave you behind. Even if your life is a pornographic novel and it sometimes annoys the shit out of me, I’m here to read every chapter, okay?” Kihyun nods. “So would you please also don't leave me?” Kihyun nods again, closing his eyes unable to prevent the tears from falling anymore. But it’s because of the relief that rushes through him. The relief, that Minhyuk doesn't want him gone. That he's still wanted in his life. Minhyuk gives him a kiss on his pouty lips before wiping away more of his tears and then letting go.

“You didn't have to squeeze my face so much.” Kihyun says, still sniffing and massaging his cheeks.

“I had to because if I didn't make your face look ridiculous I might have started to tear up myself and now emo hours closed.” He smacks Kihyun on the hips and stands up.

“Where are you going?” 

“Home. I need to change before my shift starts. You, okay?” He collects his bag from the armchair.

“Yeah, sorry, for making things messy again.” Kihyun wants to stand up and bring his friend to the door but Minhyuk puts a hand on his head to make him stay.

“I can see myself out, precious ex-lover.” He pats him gently. “I’ll talk to him, okay? Because you’re right. He needs to know that I come with a package.” So Minhyuk walks to the door and puts on his shoes. “Finish your essay, I’ll text you later.”

After Minhyuk has closed the door behind him, Kihyun sighs. He still feels like crying and a headache is throbbing at the back of his head. He takes the blanket from the other end of the couch and puts it over his head, dropping himself on the couch and rolling into a fetal position, hiding himself from the world.

He doesn’t know how long he’s been lying there when he hears Changkyun’s voice. “Hyung, are you okay?” There’s a gentle hand on his shoulder and Kihyun rolls himself out of the blanket to face his roommate, surprisingly close, sitting on the edge of the coffee table in front of him. Changkyun’s hair looks a bit messy, probably from taking a nap. But Kihyun himself must look worse freshly peeled from the blanket. He tries to fix his hair.

“Did you have a fight with Minhyuk hyung?” Changkyun is an angel for not mentioning the signs of crying on Kihyun’s reddened face.

“No,” he replies, feeling ugly and awkward. He should’ve stayed under the blanket.

“You wanna talk about it?”

“Maybe.” There are too many feelings to swallow. They will suffocate him if he doesn’t share at least a few of them. But he also doesn’t want to burden his roommate. Changkyun’s been looking tired himself lately. He had his own things to deal with.

But when Changkyun offers him an ear, saying “I’m here and I’m listening, so tell me.” with that soothing deep tone, Kihyun wants to open up for once. He sighs in surrender. 

“Minhyuk and I were… a thing a few years ago and… I’m scared that Jooheon won’t be so cool about it.” He puts the blanket back over his head, feeling stupid. He should’ve just gone into his room. Why is he even bothering his roommate with this shit?

“Why did you two break up?” he hears Changkyun ask.

“What?” His voice is muffled by the blanket.

Changkyun pulls the blanket off of him. “Why did you break up?”

Kihyun stares at him, not understanding why that would be relevant. “Uhm… long story short… Minhyuk didn't want to… uhm, sleep with me as often.. as I wanted him to?” And Changkyun laughs out loud. Kihyun is irritated.

“So, you're basically scared Jooheon might get jealous because Minhyuk hyung didn’t want to sleep with you?” Changkyun smirks. “Don’t worry, hyung. He will be more than cool about that.”

“Oh gods,” something clicks and Kihyun starts laughing himself. “I really hope Minhyuk’s going to phrase it the way you just did.” Where has this smart boy been all his life? He can’t believe his roommate lifted such a heavy fear from him with just a few words. “If he doesn’t mention that stupid lisp, we might actually be good then,” he adds.

“What about the lisp?” Changkyun asks.

“Nothing. Forget it.” Without much thought and more instinctively, Kihyun reaches out for Changkyun’s hair, fixing the messed up strands on his head. They both freeze up for a moment and Kihyun just then realizes what he’s been doing. He lowers his hand again and smiles at his roommate in hope the younger doesn’t mind this little slip up. But Changkyun smiles back, looking a lot younger than most of the time with his usual neutral expressions. His lips are really pretty. They seem soft and the rosy color is almost an invitation to touch them. Kihyun catches himself wondering about their taste, when they suddenly turn into a smirk, sending unexpected bubbles of excitement through his body. Shit, he’s been staring for too long. 

“Are you hungry?” Kihyun asks, trying to sound casual, carefully choosing words without any s-sound. But his question sounded too ambiguous in his corrupted mind. “The leftovers, I mean.” Shit. There’s a very faint glitter of amusement in Changkyun’s eyes and Kihyun wants to kick off the blanket. It’s suddenly too hot in this room. 

“Sure,” Changkyun says. “Do you mind me eating while watching TV with you?”

When Changkyun returns from the kitchen with the food, Kihyun makes room for him on the couch. Kihyun is lying on one side while Changkyun is sitting on the other, similar to how Kihyun had been chilling with Minhyuk this afternoon but he didn’t dare to put his feet anywhere near his roommate.

A few minutes into a game show, when Kihyun finally starts to relax, Changkyun leans back with an urgent question. “So hyung, when you say you wanted Minhyuk hyung to sleep more often with you, about how often are we talking here?”

Kihyun’s mouth drops open. He returns to his senses just in time before almost kicking his roommate off the couch like he wouldn’t hesitate to do with Minhyuk. “What the fuck, Kyunah?!”

“What?” Changkyun laughs, returning to his food. “I’m a maths student, I need numbers.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me introduce Changkyun to you.

Changkyun likes solving equations. There’s something really satisfying about finding out the solution for x. You just need to shuffle around all the given information until everything falls into place. It’s like solving a puzzle. The more pieces the better because Changkyun likes complicated things. But when he enrolled in uni for his maths studies he didn’t think he would find the most complicated equation right at the door of his new living place.

His roommate is stunningly beautiful. Small frame, wavy light brown hair, a killer smile. Their height might be the same but there is something about the older boy that makes him so much more petite and delicate that some basic instinct started roaring in his mind urging him to pull his roommate into his arms right from the start. His interest got even more intrigued when his roommate started throwing variables at him with unfamiliar patterns.

The first equation Kihyun made him solve wasn’t that hard to figure out. Tidy apartment = happy roommate. Easy. In the first few days of their shared living, Changkyun noticed Kihyun getting into an irritated mood whenever the dishes started to pile up or when things were left lying around. He also noticed the relieved sigh coming from his roommate after cleaning up the whole apartment. So Changkyun made sure to put his shoes neatly onto the shoe rack, to not leave dirty dishes behind, to put away the PS4 controller after gaming and all sorts of other little things which earned him a smile from his roommate. And that smile is definitely worth the extra effort. 

The next equation was a little more complex and Changkyun needed some trial and error before he managed to solve it. The thing is, his roommate likes compliments. But not any kind of compliments. He is very specific in his preferences. Telling his roommate he looked good or handsome when he cleaned up for a night out in town just resulted in a polite “thank you”. But then Changkyun witnessed several times how his roommate's face lit up the moment his best friend called him pretty. He also couldn’t help but notice how Kihyun then would reach out for some skinship which would’ve made Changkyun believe these two were a couple if he didn't know for a fact that Minhyuk is his own best friend’s boyfriend. (Kihyuk = best friends with a messed up past, solved). However, it got him curious if he could also receive a similar reaction when he’d changed his wording. The result was very surprising and again, so worth it. (Kihyun = likes to be called pretty, a lot.) In fact, Changkyun didn’t know where it came from, but Kihyun’s reaction to the word pretty started to turn him on. “You look pretty, hyung,” he would say and his roommate’s eyes would light up with a sparkle before turning into a deep dark, while a rosy blush would start blooming on his cheeks matching the soft color of his glossy lips. He’d look like someone who needs to be fucked up against a wall and Changkyun would gladly volunteer. Then, Kihyun would sometimes nervously excuse himself with a hardly noticeable lisp, closing either the door to his room or to the bathroom behind him. At first Changkyun thought Kihyun ran away because he was self-conscious about that lisp. This really cute lisp, which would sometimes be so heavy, Changkyun wondered how his roommate was able to hide it at all. It’s another variable Changkyun hasn’t quite figured out, yet. He realized that all this is probably part of a much bigger equation and that he needs to solve other variables first before getting back to the former.

His current calculations circle around another very urgent variable. X = how often Kihyun needs sex. If it was a big enough deal to break up a couple, the importance of solving this variable is pretty high on Changkyun’s priority list.

“Hyung, how often do you have sex with Minhyuk hyung?” Changkyun asks Jooheon, when the older is pushing a bottle of beer into his hand and then sits down beside him on a small couch.

“None of your business.” Jooheon sips from his own beer and scrolls through his phone.

They’re pregaming in Jooheon’s dorm room before meeting up with the others at a small club outside the city center. The plan is to celebrate into Minhyuk’s birthday at midnight.

“Just give me a number. I need this variable to figure out something important.”

Jooheon puts on some music on the speakers connected to his phone through bluetooth. “You’re math shit always weirds me out. Just ask me the real question.”

“I doubt you can answer it. But your boyfriend might.” Changkyun clears his throat, unsure if he didn’t say too much. 

Jooheon snorts. “So, I guess we’re talking about Kihyun hyung? Don’t worry, I’ve been informed about their past. And you, too, as it seems.”

“I just happened to be at home the day those two’ve been talking about it. Did you freak out?” Changkyun puts his beer down on the floor in front of the couch. The dorm room was missing a coffee table since someone had broken it at the last dorm party and Changkyun is reminded once again why he prefers to live in a shared apartment rather than the dorms. He pulls out his phone and switches the bluetooth on.

“Who wouldn’t freak out? Kihyun hyung is... intense. But I can call myself lucky he is over the top, I guess.”

“Over the top, huh?” Changkyun finds Jooheon’s speakers in the list and connects his phone. “Can you define that?”

“Why, are we getting closer to the real question? Do you have a boner for your roommate?”

Changkyun puts on his playlist and the first beats to a Sik-K song start playing. “Yeah, I do,” he says.

“Didn’t expect you to admit that.” Jooheon chuckles into his beer.

“Why not? He's obviously hot as fuck.” Changkyun throws his phone to the side and grabs his beer back. “I bet everyone thinks about him when jerking off once in a while, even you.”

Jooheon coughs. “Did you leave your filter at the U.S. border or what?”

“Where’s the lie, though?” Changkyun drinks from his beer.

“True.” Jooheon raises his bottle in acknowledgement. “He’s so popular, I even heard rumors about him at the music department. That’s like five buildings away from the literature faculty. Like what the fuck?”

Changkyun smirks. “Same. I went to the cafeteria with two classmates and Kihyun hyung walked by. They had suddenly some interesting shit to say.”

“Yeah?” Jooheon laughs. “Like what? I’ll tell you if it’s true.

“Like that he has a sugar daddy paying his bills because he always looks expensive as fuck but doesn’t have a job outside of uni.”

“Nope,” Jooheon shakes his head. “Sadly, no sugar daddy. Just a nice grandpa who died a few years ago, leaving him a trust fund strictly linked to his studies.” Jooheon’s phone vibrates and he unlocks the screen.

“That’s fortunate,” Changkyun says, being lucky himself with his parents supporting him financially.

“Yeah, more than fortunate. He wouldn’t be able to study otherwise. His parents had kicked him out the day he came out of the closet.” Jooheon types quickly on his phone, then locks the screen again.

“What?”

“Yep, he was living with Minhyuk until they broke up.”

“That’s... It actually explains a lot.” It explains why Kihyun is alway so serious about finishing his assignments on time or keeping his good grades or why he’s so attached to his best friend, who’s probably his only family. The equation is getting bigger and more complicated by the minute but Changkyun’s sure he found an equivalent for at least one of the new variables. Kihyun’s parents = homophobic assholes. That’s rough and he’s even more impressed how his roommate is dealing with so much shit without showing it. It also makes Changkyun understand how severe Kihyun’s fear of losing Minhyuk must have been, when he found him on the couch with swollen and teary eyes. Changkyun should better not tell Jooheon that his roommate is actually much more scared of him than vice versa. It’s almost ironic. And fucking depressing. Time to change the topic. “What about the story with that dude from the sports department?”

“You mean that guy Kihyun hyung had to literally kick out of his apartment? Yeah, that’s true. But it wasn’t our hyung who did the kicking. His former roommate had to help. That sports guy was a little big,” Jooheon laughs. His phone vibrates once more and Jooheon starts typing a reply to the newly received message.

“Why, what happened?”

“I don’t know much about it, just that it had been a one night stand, at least for our hyung, but that dude apparently didn’t get the memo and made a scene the next morning? Something like that. It’s the origin of most of the fuckboy stories you might’ve also heard. That shithead had a very big mouth afterwards.” He puts his phone away. “Listen, Min just said, they need at least one more hour to get ready. You in for some GTA and pizza? I’m starving.”

Changkyun changes the playlist on his phone. “Sure. I’m in. But what is taking them so long?”

“Oh, my dude,” Jooheon smirks. “You’ll see soon enough.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm dropping this chapter, before going on a little writing hiatus.  
> I have the rest of the story already planned out but I need to take care of some other things first.  
> So, please enjoy. I'll be back soon ♥

Changkyun and Jooheon arrive at the club around 11pm and still no sign of Kihyun and Minhyuk. It's a weekday and the club isn’t very crowded. In fact, the dancefloor is empty while most of the guest are circling the bar. Jooheon is more or less a regular, so he recognizes quite quickly a few familiar faces and goes through some handshakes before they reach a bar table not far away from the dancefloor, their usual spot, as Jooheon explains.  
Changkyun has never visited this club before. He actually never had the chance to visit any clubs with Jooheon since he's been living 2 years in the USA before his parents sent him back home to attend university. He’s glad his old friend helps him to settle back in.

The atmosphere in the club is very much to Changkyun's liking. The dimmed light, the dark interior design, the indie/rock music, even the patrons with their mostly black clothes. It all fits. Just the vodka soda Jooheon had brought him from the bar takes getting used to. 

And then a fucking cute girl walks in. Black shoulder length hair with sexy side bangs, a long-sleeved black dress so tight, Changkyun has no doubts about how well that body would fit into his lap. The dress ends mid-thigh, showing off beautiful lean legs. Changkyun smirks at the cute flat boots. So she likes it comfy, he thinks. He could give her a lot of that.  
Then suddenly Minhyuk walks in, putting an arm around that gorgeous girl and she smiles at him like the fucking sun. Changkyun almost chokes on his drink. What the fuck, no. He would recognize that smile everywhere. Fuck. He can’t believe he got some variables wrong and needs to start over. Kihyun makes him run more laps in his mind than any equation he had ever tried to solve before. Changkyun’s never been more excited in his life. His pants are getting too tight and he leans down on the table, shifting his weight onto his forearms. Is his roommate wearing a corset under that tight dress? Changkyun takes a sip from his vodka soda, being in the right mood for something really sweet all of a sudden.

“Sorry we’re late,” Minhyuk apologizes while letting go of Kihyun as soon as they reach their table. He puts his arm around Jooheon's waist. “Someone reacts very sensitive to tape” he grins, nipping at Jooheon's drink.

Kihyun jabs his elbow into Minhyuk’s ribs. “Shut up, you're oversharing again.” He seems a bit lost without Minhyuk's proximity and Changkyun wouldn't mind offering himself as substitute but instead he wordlessly slides his vodka soda in front of his roommate. “Thanks,” Kihyun says and their gazes meet for a split second before his roommate quickly averts his eyes. Fuck. What is he so cute for? Changkyun isn’t used to his hyung acting so shy. 

When Kihyun holds the drink, Changkyun notices the overlength of the sleeves. They’re reaching up to Kihyun’s knuckles, making his hands look so small. Cute. There’s a stripe of lace on the side of the sleeves and Changkyun follows its way all up to his roommate’s shoulders. His gaze skips to Kihyun’s face. His eyelashes are a little fuller than usual but the make-up is still very light, just enough to emphasize the feminine look and deepen the pretty brown color of his eyes. Said eyes also find their way back to Changkyun and when a soft blush shows through his roommates make-up, Changkyun can’t help but feel a little satisfied. He smirks. “Do you want me to call you noona for tonight?”

Minhyuk chokes on Jooheon’s vodka and starts laughing and coughing so loud it makes several heads turn around to them.

“Hyung is still fine,” his roommate replies all flustered before hiding his nose in the cocktail and Changkyun really can't complain. His hyung is really cute.

At almost midnight they’re all holding up two tequila shots each, counting down the seconds until Minhyuk's birthday as if to welcome New Year’s. At midnight on the dot everyone’s shouting “Happy Birthday!” (even Minhyuk himself) and gulping down both shots without hesitation, but grimacing nonetheless. Minhyuk then receives a kiss from his boyfriend and a handshake from Changkyun. Kihyun on the other hand, already slightly tipsy from the vodka before, throws his arms around his best friend's neck, giving him a kiss on the lips and then softens into a long and intimate hug. Minhyuk, pulling him even closer, chuckles into Kihyun's neck. How these two could bicker day and night and then out of nowhere show so much affection for each other is nothing a mathematical formula could ever explain. It's really fascinating to watch. Now more than ever as Changkyun has a perfect vision of Kihyun's well wrapped behind. Where the fuck did his roommate hide that nice bum all this time? Is there a petition to sign for Kihyun to wear that dress at home? Changkyun wouldn't mind. He wouldn't mind at all.

Minhyuk and Kihyun take off to the dance floor to join a few other lost souls on the still very empty parquet. Some indie classics are playing and the two friends compete against each other with goofy dance moves. It’s adorable.

Jooheon nudges him from the side. “So, did you finish your assignment yet?”

Changkyun turns around to his friend. “You serious right now?”

Jooheon starts laughing. “I bet there’s something else very urgent you’d rather talk about?”

Changkyun snorts. “Nope, don’t know what you mean. Let’s talk about that stupid assignment.”

“Cool. Let me just fetch us some beer. I’m sick of the fancy stuff. Be right back.” Jooheon pats him on the shoulder and disappears towards the bar.

Changkyun leans back on the edge of a bar stool. The current song ends and a very slow beat starts. He’s watching Minhyuk whispering something into Kihyun’s ear before leaving the dance floor, probably for the restroom. Kihyun stays behind. He’s the only one left on the dance floor. Everyone else uses the slow song for a retreat to the bar. But Kihyun starts moving his hips. Slowly. Feeling the music. From the left. Really slowly. To the right. Walking out every beat. Without making any steps. His hand slides from his neck. Into his long hair. And back to the neck. Their eyes meet. And this time. Kihyun doesn’t look away. His hand slides further down. Over his chest. Down to the waist. And further. Along the dress. Adding a body roll. And biting his lips. Fuck. Changkyun is hard. And Kihyun rolls his hips down. And up again. Stroking his thighs. His eyes never leaving his prey. Until Jooheon returns to the table, putting a beer in front of Changkyun and Kihyun turns himself away from them, never letting go of the beat but breaking the magic. 

Holy shit. What was that? 

“Where’s Min?” Jooheon asks grabbing a stool for himself.

“Don’t know,” Changkyun replies, still absent minded. Who’s been this person, seducing him so sweetly. Does his hyung have a drunk alter ego? Changkyun starts multiplying random numbers just to calm down his fucking mind until Minhyuk appears, hugging Jooheon from behind. 

Changkyun just ignores their love whisperings. “Hyung,” he aims at Minhyuk, who’s just giving his boyfriend a smooch. “Does Kihyun hyung have a drunk alter ego?”

Minhyuk rests his chin on Jooheon’s shoulder. “No, nothing out of the ordinary. Why?” he grins. “What did he do?”

“Nothing.” Changkyun sips from his beer. “Nothing out of the ordinary then…” 534 times 82 equals 43788. 73 times 292 equals 21316. 832 times 93--

“Ah!” Minhyuk uncouples himself from Jooheon when he sees a familiar face approaching. “Hyung!” And Jooheon rolls his eyes.

“Min!” The newcomer arrives with the biggest smile and gives Minhyuk a hug. “Happy Birthday!” He’s attractive. Handsome face and a ripped body. The black shirt seems tight in all the right spots. Not bad.

“Thanks! You’re late!” Minhyuk says with a playful pout, releasing their hug but still holding onto that guy’s buff arms, not obvious at all. And since said hot dude also doesn’t remove his hands from Minhyuk’s lower back, Jooheon clears his throat. 

The newcomer turns around, finally letting go of Minhyuk. “Hey Joo, what’s up?” He shakes hands with Jooheon and then offers his hand to Changkyun. “Hi, I’m Hoseok. Nice to meet you.” He has a firm handshake. Not a surprise.

Hoseok returns his attention to Minhyuk. “Sorry, hun, I locked myself in the studio and forgot the time. Where's Ki?”

Minhyuk points with his chin to the dance floor, where Kihyun is still enjoying himself, dancing to a much faster beat but still knowing exactly how to move his hips.

“Shit, I haven't seen that dress yet,” Hoseok says with obvious approval in his tone. “Just so you know, we’ll probably leave early tonight,” he says, giving Minhyuk a playful look.

“Yes, please just take him and go. He's been moody all week.” Minhyuk pats Hoseok on the back in encouragement.

“Don't worry,” Hoseok assures with a grin. “I’ll take good care of him.” He pats Minhyuk on the shoulder in return and makes his way towards Kihyun.

Changkyun watches Hoseok approaching his roommate by sliding a hand around Kihyun’s waist and Kihyun smiles and welcomes the newcomer by putting his arms around his neck, pulling him into a kiss. Hoseok doesn’t hesitate to close the gap between them and even starts bending Kihyun backwards until Kihyun breaks their kiss with laughter, smacking Hoseok’s chest, and Hoseok heaves him back up.

“Are they a thing?” Changkyun asks, taking a sip from his beer, his eyes not leaving his roommate, who’s now reaching out for another kiss.

“Let’s say, they keep each other company without being too attached,” Minhyuk replies.

“They seem very attached, if you ask me.” Changkyun averts his gaze back to his friends. Watching his roommate making out on the dance floor just turns him further on and he is very much determined to calm the fuck down.

Jooheon is smirking at him “Aw, don't be jealous, dude.” 

“I’m not.” Which is true. He’s neither in the position nor the type to feel jealous. But what he feels is a little too much excitement. All the rumors he heard about his roommate must be just the tip of the iceberg because his hyung seems to be very good at hiding things. He’s hardly showing anything he doesn’t want to show. So what is Kihyun’s reason to show him this side of him? Changkyun is adding up all the variables he’s uncovered so far and the result is still a little ambiguous but heading into a direction Changkyun likes a lot. He just needs to double check. Just to be sure. He gulps down the rest of his beer and heads towards the bar.

A few hours later, Changkyun returns to the apartment drunk and horny as fuck. He groans, taking off his shoes and throwing himself onto the couch. This nasty and sneaky hyung. So cruel. So fucking sexy. So damn... uh, shit. Changkyun grabs himself in the crotch, pressing a hand hard against his painfully throbbing cock and groans again. He can't believe his hyung got him so fucking hard at the club, he couldn't even take a piss and had instead almost jerked himself off in the restroom stall like a fucking pervert. And he still can't stop thinking about Kihyun's face, visibly panting and moaning, while Hoseok’s been pressing him up against a wall in the darkest corner of the club. The memory let's Changkyun's dick swell so hard, he stops rubbing his crotch and opens his pants to release himself from the pressure of the sturdy fabric. He doesn't even care that he's still in the living room and Kihyun might come home and walk in on him. It’s very unlikely anyway. He’s still with Hoseok. But if he did, he’d better sit down and ride him hard. Ahh, fuck. Changkyun grabs his shaft, jerking up. He wants Kihyun to ride him so bad. He’d feel so nicely tight and warm around him. He wants him to wear that fucking dress and uh shit, Changkyun is so fucking close, even though he hardly touched himself. But his mind is back at the scene in the club, Kihyun’s thigh looking so fucking delicious with Hoseok’s hand on it, sliding up that dress and riding it up dangerously high. And it’s been the last centimeter that didn't ride up that drove Changkyun mad, that is still teasing his mind so viciously and he starts stroking his cock fast, unable to endure the pressure any longer. The way Kihyun had been holding onto Hoseok, so needy and desperate, sends waves of heat through Changkyun's body. And when he had looked up once again at Kihyun's face, while Hoseok’s been eating up his neckline, his roommate had noticed him, locking their eyes for very a long moment and then Kihyun fucking licked his lips. Changkyun spills so fast and hard, his mind goes blank. He groans, riding out the orgasm until his muscles relax and he slumps into the cushions. Still holding his now limp member in his hand, he covers his eyes with the other arm and chuckles to himself. He’s so fucked. So fucking whipped. There’s no doubt.

“Hyung,” he thinks aloud, “I got the message. Just wait for it. I’ll make you mine.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I found out that the deadline for an assignment has been pushed back another week, so guess what I've been working on instead. Enjoy this mess.

“He’s avoiding me,” Kihyun says, spraying glass cleaner on Minhyuk's coffee table and wiping the surface.

Minhyuk is lying on the couch, reading a book for his psychology class, flipping a page. “I bet he's not.”

“I went overboard and scared him.” Kihyun is rubbing a very persistent stain with full force, but it doesn’t make that icky feeling go away. It’s been hunting him for two weeks now, since he woke up after the club night with the worst hangover. He hardly knew how he got home, but remembered all too well how he’d been not very subtle asking for his roommate’s attention that night. 

“I doubt it. He’s just busy. We’re all busy, except you. And since you’re here almost every day, I get the feeling that you’re the one doing the avoiding.” Minhyuk flips himself on the back, holding the book up above his nose. “Although, I do appreciate the cleaning.”

Kihyun drops the rag and sits down on the floor with a sigh. “I’m too much. I need to back off.”

Minhyuk sighs as well, putting the book away. “Come here,” he says and Kihyun crawls up onto the couch, into Minhyuk’s arms. “You’ve been surprisingly reserved so far, if you ask me.”

“Min, I want him too much.” And that’s basically all he can say aloud. Minhyuk doesn’t need to know how much Changkyun’s gaze had turned him on while he was dancing in front of him. How much he wanted Changkyun to know. He wanted him to know exactly what his hips could do and he didn’t regret dolling up at all. That dress in combination with the corset, he’d been wearing underneath for a little more waist, it had felt so good. The tightness and pressure on his ribs, as if someone really strong was holding him, in addition to Changkyun’s eyes burning his skin, Kihyun has been in heaven and it hurt like hell. His tucked dick was screaming to be released and the pain made the longing even worse. Kihyun wanted Changkyun to undress him. Right there on the dancefloor and later, when Hoseok was pressing him against a wall. He just wanted Changkyun's hands on his body, feeling him up and down and the need made him whimper in Hoseok's arms. The pain was almost unbearable. Kihyun wants Changkyun to want him. Really bad. He sighs again, pushing the thoughts aside, hiding himself deeper into Minhyuk’s arms.

“Poor baby,” Minhyuk says, curling Kihyun’s hair. “What about Hoseok hyung?”

“He’s currently out of town,” Kihyun replies with a muffled voice. And even if Hoseok was within reach, he wouldn’t ease the want at all but enable Kihyun’s fantasies even more. These last few times, Kihyun had asked Hoseok to fuck him from behind, so Kihyun could imagine it to be Changkyun pounding into him and it always made Kihyun come so fucking fast, it’s almost embarrassing. He just can’t play it cool anymore. Being at home is torture.

“Ki,” Minhyuk says. “Whatever you’re thinking, please stop. Your dick is knocking at my leg.”

Kihyun groans and turns himself around, offering his back to Minhyuk, who's immediately pulling his friend close to his chest with laughter. “You’re so cute when you’re needy.” Minhyuk bites playfully into Kihyun’s shoulder and pokes his side.

Kihyun jerks up and struggles to free himself, chuckling from the tickles. “Min, I swear, if you don’t stop, I will break your nose and it won’t even be on purpose!”

“Okay, okay, relax.” Minhyuk retreats into comfortable spooning. “Listen, Ki,” he whispers after a few moments of silence. “Next semester, Jooheon’s going to move in.”

“Oh.” Kihyun suddenly feels sick when some heavy stones start to pile up in his stomach.

“You can still come over whenever you want, okay? Nothing will change.”

“Mhm.” His second home will suddenly be someone else's home, but nothing will change. Jooheon for sure will appreciate unannounced visits. He will be okay with Kihyun staying over, sleeping with them in Minhyuk’s bed, because that’s totally cool and modern family-ish. Yeah. Nothing will change. Just, Jooheon will grow tired of him. And then Minhyuk will be angry with him for being the needy brat he is and then he’ll finally cut him off, just like his parents did. He’ll be homeless again. But it’s alright, isn’t it? Because nothing will change. He’ll wake up in the morning, go to his classes, come back to his apartment, do his homework, sleep, repeat. He’ll survive, right? So why is it so hard to breathe with all those stones up his throat? It’s suffocating. He fucking hates it.

“Ki, don't hurt yourself thinking unnecessary stuff,” Minhyuk whispers in his ear. “I love you. I won't abandon you, ever. Okay?” He’s pulling Kihyun so close, their cheeks almost meet.

“Okay,” Kihyun mumbles, sinking further into the cushions and putting his arms over his head, trying to cover his eyes and ears until the heavy feeling numbs down. But Minhyuk doesn’t allow any distance. He keeps Kihyun tight in his arms and for the first time Kihyun isn’t sure if he’s okay with all the proximity. He’d rather be prepared to let go.

“Come on, turn around,” Minhyuk says, forcing Kihyun back around to face him. “You can even dry hump me if your mind goes places again,” he chuckles hesitantly.

“You’re so stupid.” Kihyun’s nose starts running and he sniffs. “Stop making dumb jokes.”

“Maybe it’s not a joke? Maybe, I’d do anything for you to cheer up?”

“Then you’re lucky my dick would rather fall off then hump you ever again.” he says, placing his head on his favorite spot on Minhyuk’s chest because fuck it, nothing has changed, yet. 

Minhyuk laughs, making them both shake. “You look so sweet but your words cut deep.”

“That’s my charm.” Kihyun sniffles again, but his nose stopped running.

Minhyuk gives him a kiss on the forehead. “I know.”

They must have fallen asleep because the room is fully dark, when Minhyuk’s ringtone goes off, startling them. Kihyun rolls aside for Minhyuk to stand up and answer the call, while Kihyun is grabbing his own phone, checking the time. 7pm. So much for finishing his assignment today.

“You hungry?” Minhyuk returns, throwing his phone on the couch. “Jooheon’s coming with food.”

“No, I’m going home. Jooheon can have you for himself tonight.” Kihyun stands up, putting his phone in his back pocket.

“You don’t have to leave, you know that, right?”

“I know. And though I also know firsthand that your sex drive isn’t that high, your boyfriend deserves a decent blow job every now and then, so I’m not going to cock block him tonight.” Kihyun sticks his tongue out, heading towards his coat at the door.

Minhyuk laughs. “So you want me to give him your regards before or after.”

“Neither. I’d prefer to stay an anonymous donor.” Kihyun zips up the coat and puts on his shoes.

Minhyuk helps to put the strap of Kihyun’s shoulder bag over his head and ensures the bag sits right, before giving Kihyun a peck on the lips. “Text me, when you get home.”

“Yes, mom.”

As soon as Kihyun enters the apartment, he leans back against the closed door to quickly text Minhyuk. Looking up from his phone, he notices Changkyun’s shoes on the shoe rack and sighs. Putting his shoes next to his roommate’s vans, he hopes Changkyun's door stays closed when he’s making his way into the kitchen as quietly as possible. In his own room, Kihyun puts a bottle of wine on his desk and finally drops the bag and coat, letting out the breath he’s been holding for who knows how long.

An hour later, Kihyun sits at his desk, one leg up like the true gay he is, wearing nothing but trunks and Hyunwoo’s button down shirt for comfort. He's slightly tipsy from gulping down half a bottle of red wine and a little tired from working on his essay. Although, writing while being drunk has a certain delicious taste. It makes the words flow so smoothly like silk on your skin and Kihyun loves this feeling of cotton in his head, shielding him from unwanted thoughts of a future that might or might not happen. Kihyun leans back on his chair, slowly sliding his hand down his neck and then further down his inner thigh. He’d really like to be fucked right now. He’d like someone to kiss his neck and his shoulders, while pushing into him. Uhh, that would be so nice, he thinks, while his own hands are sending him shivers down the spine. They’re so cold, hardening his nipples instantly and the pull on his skin is so sweet, his underwear is bulging. He likes that a lot. His hands being cold, that is, feeling even smaller and more delicate, like something that needs to be held by someone bigger and much warm. Changkyun has nice hands. They could for sure keep him warm in more than one way and Kihyun chuckles before taking another sip from the bottle, because of course, his mind returns to Changkyun the moment his dick gets hard.  
Kihyun puts the wine down, grabbing his phone and opening the front camera. He makes sure his naked leg is in the frame, and opens another button of his shirt to reveal more collarbone. He takes a few selcas and decides on one where he looks most sexy and seductive, hoping Hoseok will appreciate the view. His hyung might be out of town but they could still have fun sexting, right? In which way ever, Kihyun just wants his mind to go nice places tonight, so he adds a caption and sends the pic.

_[img]  
Hyung, I’m lonely_

He then throws his phone onto the bed and saves the progress on his essay. He takes a last sip from the wine, before joining his phone on the bed. The sheets are so damn comfortable. He almost purrs while stretching himself, enjoying all the fabric caressing his skin and since the red wine does his own magic, he’s already horny as fuck. But he is still very resolved to give his hyung a chance of five more minutes to join the fun before he’s going to help himself. So Kihyun just scrolls through his favorite online shop for sexy stockings, looking for something new to buy for his hyung to enjoy, when he gets the notif for a new message.

_Hyung.  
Wrong chat I guess_

Changkyun. Fucking shit. Why the fuck. Kihyun checks the chat history. Oh god. He knocks the phone against his head, leaning his forehead against the screen while silently cursing himself. Why did he send the photo to the wrong chat? What the fuck is wrong with him? What’s worse than trying to seduce your roommate on the dancefloor? It’s sending him half nude pics with a suggestive message. Fucking shit. The embarrassment is heating up his face in a very unwelcome way and he wants to pack his things and fucking run.

 _Fuck._  
_I’m sorry_  
_I’m slightly drunk_  
_and really sorry_

_No need to apologize  
Why are you lonely?_

_Everyone's busy._

_I’m not busy right now._

_Kyunah, I wasn't about to ask my Hyung to play games_

_No? But I know a game you might like playing_

_What?_

_You’re wearing that shirt right now?  
Take it off._

_Excuse me?_

_Take your shirt off._

_Kyunah, do you even know what you're asking me to do?_

_Why? You don't like that game?_

_Kyunah…_

_Come on hyung, take the shirt off_

Kihyun puts the phone away as his hands start shaking. His breathing becomes uneven and he tries to calm down, but the sudden adrenaline rush is so strong, the muscles in his legs start twitching, shaking his body. Does Changkyun realize what he’s doing? He’s a fucking adult and should know very well what he’s initiating. Damn it. Kihyun’s contemplating about what the fuck is happening right now. And although, his mind is screaming at him to stop this before it possibly escalates, his dick is very much in the mood and curious about how far his roommate is willing to go. Kihyun is actually unsure if he’s even allowed to accept this offer. He’s been imagining scenes like that so many times, it doesn’t feel real at all. But maybe he can deal with reality later because if this is going the direction he thinks it is, he wants it so much he can't even think straight anymore. So he closes his eyes and breathes through another rush of excitement shaking his body. He then pulls off the shirt over his head and dares another look at his phone.

_And now send me another selca._

_What?_

_Would you like to stop playing?_

_…_

_Then I need prove you're playing it right._

His roommate knows exactly what he’s doing, doesn’t he? Kihyun opens the front camera again, while wetting his lips with his tongue. He makes sure to lie comfortably on his pillow, stroking some strands of hair away to show more forehead and let's his arm rest casually above his head. He winks at the camera, licking his upper lip, and takes the picture. Here you go honey, this game is for two.

_[img]_

_Fuck._  
_Hyung._  
_You're really fucking pretty._  
_You know, that night_  
_When you were dancing for me?_

_Did you like it?_

_A lot._  
_You did it on purpose, didn't you?_

_Maybe I did_

_Touch yourself like that again_  
_Slide your hand down your body_  
_And think about me_

_Maybe I’d rather have your hands do it_

_My hands would go immediately down to your thighs_  
_gripping them firmly_  
_cuz damn it hyung_  
_they're driving me crazy_  
_I want them around me_  
_Like right now_

_Shit, Kyunah_

_What? You don't wanna hear how much I want you to sit on me?_

_You can't just  
omg_

_Come on pretty, tell me how much you’d like to ride me_

_Fuck_  
_You're making me so hard_

_Tell me_

__

_I want to ride you_  
_I want to fucking sit on your dick_  
_And ride you hard_

_Baby, you’d look so pretty on my dick_

_Shit_  
_say that again_  
_Exactly like this_

 _First, let's talk about_  
_how much prettier you'd look_  
_with something really big in your mouth._  
_Don’t you agree, baby?_

_Yes I would_  
_Fuck_

_Come on, pretty_  
_Put your fingers in your mouth_  
_Go easy and start with two_

_Kyunah…_

_Stop writing_  
_I want you to lick your fingers_  
_Can you do that for me?_

_Shit I’m so hard_

_I want you to add one more_

_Can you do all 4?_  
_I wanna see it_  
_Send me another selca_

_[img]_

_Fuck_  
_Hyung_  
_Let me just_

_Incoming call…_

When Kihyun answers the call, he can hear Changkyun breathing heavily. “Hyung, you're so fucking gorgeous,” he says panting. “I’m going crazy.” And his deep voice shoots spikes of sweet pleasure through Kihyun's body, wetting his trunks even more with precum and Kihyun closes his eyes moaning through the hand in his mouth.

“Tell me, baby, do you want my cock in your mouth?” Changkyun asks with an even deeper voice and Kihyun whimpers with need. “You have,” Changkyun says. “So suck it.”

Kihyun starts sucking his hand and his own dick is screaming for release, the pressure getting fucking unbearable. He moans so loud the whole building can tell.

“Holy shit,” Changkyun groans in reply. “I can hear you through the walls. You're killing me.”

Kihyun removes the hand from his mouth unable to hold back any longer. He pulls out his dick from his trunks and inhales sharply at the first slow stroke with his wet hand. “Kyunah,” he breathes heavily into the phone. “Come over and fuck me.”

Changkyun chuckles. “Hyung, is this finally the real you? I was wondering when you'll let loose.”

Kihyun snorts. “Don't call me hyung, if you want us to play the real game.”

“So what would you like me to say to you? ‘Noona, please spread your legs for me’?”

Kihyun moans with a little laughter. “How about 'Baby, let me fuck you six ways from Sunday.’?” He's still using slow strokes on his dick or he might come instantly. But even the slow strokes start pushing him to the edge.

Changkyun groans and his panting increases. “Wear the black dress for me and I’ll fuck you six ways a day,” he says, breathing very obviously into his own strokes.

“Fucking shit, Kyunah,” Kihyun is trembling. “I’m going to come.”

“Then come, baby. I got you. I wanna hear it all.”

Kihyun just needs two more strokes until the final wave of pleasure forces him to arche up and scream into the phone. And while Kihyun is still very vocally riding out the heavy orgasm he can hear how Changkyun’s panting turns into his own groans of pleasure and they both fall silent, catching their breath.

After a few moments of calming down, Changkyun chuckles again, saying “Good night, hyung. Sweet dreams,” and hangs up.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go. No refunds.

Kihyun is sitting in the cafeteria beside Minhyuk, holding onto a yoghurt cup and nibbling on a spoon that hasn't seen any yoghurt for quite a while because Kihyun is spacing out. Big time. His mind is still reliving yesterday's … thing with his roommate. The moment he woke up in the morning, he immediately checked the history on his phone to be sure he didn't just have one of those intense vivid dreams. Then, he memorized it all. Every word. Replaying it over and over again inside his head. He just wished he had a recording of the phone call. Hearing Changkyun jerking off… fuck.

“You're drooling,” Minhyuk says, pulling Kihyun out of his thoughts.

Kihyun puts the spoon back into the cup and wipes his face clean with the sleeve of his sweater. Minhyuk is watching him warily from the side.

“What?” Kihyun asks. “Never seen me drooling before?”

“Listen, you brat, your lisp is showing and it's not even noon.”

“Shit.” SHIT. THE FUCKING LISP. Kihyun had totally forgotten about that. Did he say anything on the phone that might've displayed that stupid thing?

“No need to turn pale, hun. Just get your thoughts under control.” Minhyuk turns back to his notebook, taking a sip from his coffee. “Did you finish your essay?” he asks while correcting a typo on the presentation he’s working on.

“No,” Kihyun answers, stirring the yoghurt.

“Then why aren't you working on it?”

“I… have a lot on my mind and can't focus right now, okay?” He’s putting the spoon back into his mouth, feeling very neutral about the chemical strawberry taste.

Minhyuk scrolls through the pages of his presentation. “Do I need to worry? Are you still upset about Jooheon moving in with me?”

“To be honest, I totally forgot about that, but thanks for reminding me of my anxieties,” Kihyun groans.

“Always at your service. At least the lisp went back into hiding.” Minhyuk has the audacity to smirk at him.

“You're evil,” Kihyun snorts. And then he spots the reason for his lisp. Changkyun is approaching their table with Jooheon at his side. Perfect timing.

“Hey, what's up?” Jooheon gives Minhyuk a kiss before sliding into the chair opposite of his boyfriend. Changkyun sits down in front of Kihyun and their eyes lock.

Minhyuk closes his notebook. “That's so rare to meet both of you here. No lectures?” Yadda yadda yadda. Kihyun logs himself off, uninterested in the couple's conversation. His interest belongs to his roommate only.

Changkyun had already left when Kihyun came out of his room to get ready. Lucky, because going through the awkwardness of a morning after with his roommate would’ve exposed a kind of vulnerability Kihyun wasn’t eager to show. But now after being bored to death by the first lecture of the day and everyone being properly clothed, his composure is back in place and he can enjoy the view without freaking out. And the view is really worth all the enjoying. Kihyun is so weak for his roommate’s edgy style with the black slim fit bomber jacket and rolled up sleeves, showing off so much forearm it’s tingling in Kihyun’s stomach. He can’t help but imagine the muscles and veins showing up on his roommate’s arm while stroking himself. Ah, shit. Kihyun is all hot and bothered again, remembering Changkyun’s deep voice breathing into his ear. It also doesn’t help looking back up into his roommate’s dark eyes, still watching him intently, because the tingling in his stomach multiplies instantly. Kihyun wants these eyes to always look at him, preferably with the same lust written all over his face that Changkyun's been verbalizing so beautifully in their late night dirty talk. Kihyun is anything but ready to let go of that high from last night. He felt wanted and he wants Changkyun to want him even more. Kihyun feels very much challenged to provoke that feeling again. So he holds the eye contact with his roommate while picking up the spoon again. He opens his mouth and smears some yoghurt on his bottom lip. When Changkyun's gaze drops to his lips, Kihyun starts licking the yoghurt and bites his lip to suck in the remaining strawberry flavor. Their eyes meet again and Kihyun, leaving his mouth slightly open, puts the spoon back in, moving it slowly up and down, licking the whole length and sucking on it as if this yoghurt was the best fucking thing he’s ever had in his mouth. Changkyun moves on his chair, crossing his legs and they both smirk at each other. The tingling spreads through Kihyun’s body and he just has another idea when Minhyuk suddenly kicks him under the table, giving him an annoyed look.

“What?” Kihyun asks. “Can't I eat my yoghurt in peace?”

“Can you do it like a normal person?”

Kihyun rolls his eyes, noticing that Jooheon is staring at him open-mouthed. Oops. He didn't expect his little show to draw an audience. Of course, Changkyun is grinning amused. Kihyun puts the spoon back into the cup, pushing the whole thing to the side, and pulls out his phone. He’s typing a message, which makes a vibrating sound in Changkyun's jacket. His roommate takes a look at his phone, smirking and typing a reply.

_Don't you wanna apologize?_

_For what?_

_Last night_

_Why_  
_You don't like phone sex?_

_I do._  
_But maybe_  
_I’d rather have your real dick in my mouth._

_Then_  
_You just need to come here_  
_and open my pants_

They both look up from their phones, sharing a very long moment of probably inappropriate thoughts.

_Follow me in 5_

Kihyun stands up, grabbing his bag and coat. “I just remembered, I forgot a book at home.”

“What?” Minhyuk looks up frowning.

“I’ll call you later,” Kihyun says, omitting any words that might indicate another comeback of his lisp and leaves the cafeteria.

Entering the apartment, Kihyun realizes his hands are shaking and he curses himself for acting on impulse. He didn’t even check his phone for a response and Changkyun might not even be coming. But the thought alone, that his roommate might open the door and walk in any minute with all the following implications, sends a shiver through Kihyun’s whole body. He leaves his shoes on the floor and throws his bag and coat to the side, unable to function properly. He’s so fucking aroused by the possibilities, he prays to the gods, Changkyun won’t leave him hanging, or standing, whatever. But what if he does? What if Kihyun had misunderstood the signs? What if Changkyun isn’t interested in the real action? Maybe he’s just a flirt. With a really dirty mouth. Damn it. Kihyun walks into the bathroom, asking himself if he’s even clean enough to offer himself today. There’s no time to prepare. He didn’t think this through, but who cares, because maybe Changkyun isn’t coming.  
Kihyun washes his hands, trying to cool himself down but the cold water makes his hands feel delicate and so good, he instantly thinks about how much better they would feel warming up on Changkyun’s body. He wants his hands so fucking much on this boy, it’s almost painful and he needs to support himself against the sink. Fuck. Calm the fuck down. He quickly turns off the water and dries himself on a towel. What if Changkyun really isn’t coming? Kihyun leaves the bathroom, closing the door behind him. What if he's not coming? Kihyun leans back on the closed bathroom door, knocking the back of his head against the wood, watching the front door with his heartbeat so strong he can almost hear it. What if he’s not coming? Fucking what if? Kihyun wants Changkyun to open that door so bad. He wants Changkyun to want him just as bad. Fuck, he’s so hard for the possibility, he needs to tuck away his hands behind his back. If Changkyun doesn’t open that door any second now, he’s going into Changkyun’s room and jerk off on his bed. At that thought, his stupid dick twitches in approval. Shit. What is he even thinking? He knocks the back of his head once more against the bathroom door and then closes his eyes, breathing in deeply, when he suddenly hears the rustling of keys at the front door and his stomach starts to flutter. Opening his eyes, he sees Changkyun entering the apartment. 

Kihyun watches his roommate taking off his shoes and putting both his own and Kihyun’s shoes on the shoe rack. “I thought you might not be coming,” Kihyun says, choosing his words very carefully, fully aware of his lisp this time.

Changkyun smirks, dropping his backpack next to Kihyun's shoulder bag. “But hyung, then you'd be lonely again. I can't let that happen.” He picks up Kihyun's coat and hangs it on the hook rack.

“And now you're here to play a new game with me?” he asks while Changkyun moves closer and he needs to close his eyes once again, too many senses screaming at once. Changkyun’s here. He wants it, too. Fuck, yes.

“Hyung,” Changkyun whispers and Kihyun opens his eyes again. “Tell me what you want.” 

Kihyun starts trembling. He just wants one thing and he’s wanted it for months. He’ll go nuts if he won’t get it now. He’s fucking done playing. It’s so hard to focus on suppressing his lisp. He’s struggling but still trying. “Fuck me, please,” he says.

Changkyun clicks his tongue in disapproval. “Don't do that. Don't hide that sweet lisp from me.” He grabs one of Kihyun's hands, pressing it against his own clothed hard-on and Kihyun grasps for air. He's big. He's fucking big. “Say it again,” Changkyun demands.

Kihyun's vision gets blurry. He wants that dick. So bad. He wants it in all ways possible. He needs it so much his knees get weak.

“Come on pretty,” Changkyun’s voice gets deeper. “Say it,” he demands once more.

Kihyun whimpers, trying to free his hand but Changkyun holds him firm at his crotch and Kihyun gives up. “Fuck me, please,” he finally says with a heavy lisp and Changkyun's dick twitches. Holy shit.

“That's how much I like it,” Changkyun groans, letting go of Kihyun's hand, instead, leading both of Kihyun's arms around his neck. “And now, baby, say it again because three time’s a charm.”

Kihyun pulls them closer together and moans when their clothed hard-ons meet, because fuck, he’s never been turned on before by someone reacting to his lisp and it’s fucking magic. This boy is killing him. And if he likes that stupid lisp so much, Kihyun is going to give him all of it. 

“Fuck me, please,” Kihyun whispers and Changkyun pulls them into a kiss.

And this kiss is so different and so much better than what Kihyun had imagined. Changkyun’s lips feel so warm and soft, Kihyun is melting. He’s just losing all his bones and he can barely hold onto his heart because he might be losing that as well but it could also be too late already. He’s just glad Changkyun is holding him, so firmly, so fucking tight, like a sweet corset that’s been tied too strongly. It feels so good, Kihyun is ready to break. And he does. The moment their tongues meet. That taste. Changkyun tastes like home. Like they’re both sitting on the couch on a Sunday morning after breakfast, watching TV. Like they’re eating late dinner together because they both spent too much time on some stupid assignment. Like they’re brushing their teeth side by side in a hurry because they’re both too late for class. Kihyun is losing it. He’s losing it all. It’s all gone. And it’s too late to back off because there’s nothing left of him. It's all his. He can have it all.

And then a switch is flicked and Kihyun pushes himself faster and deeper into the kiss. Changkyun answers with just as much pressure. His hands let go of Kihyun's back just long enough to pull enough sweater and shirt out of Kihyun's jeans that he’s able to slip his hands through the opening. When his fingers finally meet Kihyun's naked skin they both moan with desire for more. Kihyun pulls Changkyun's jacket down his shoulders while his roommate presses him against the bathroom door. Kihyun throws his arms back around Changkyun’s neck, pulling himself up, while hugging one leg around his waist. Changkyun grabs his thigh tightly, pushing Kihyun further up, helping him to hop off the floor and also wrap his other leg around him. 

“Where?” Changkyun asks, walking his mouth down Kihyun's neck.

Kihyun knocks his head back against the door. “My bed,” he breathes and tightens his grip on his roommate, who pushes them off of the door.

They reach Kihyun’s room with several potential bruises on arms and legs as they’ve bumped into furniture here and there, too deep into exploring the other’s mouth to care.  
And they don't stop kissing when Changkyun puts Kihyun down on the bed, neither when they both start pushing and pulling Changkyun's jacket off. When he drops his shirt as well Kihyun’s hands immediately reach out to touch the naked torso above him, sighing in relief. Fucking finally.

Changkyun flinches, hissing. “Shit, why are your hands so cold?”

“For you to warm them,” Kihyun replies, sliding his hands down Changkyun’s back, pressing their hips closer together.

Changkyun chuckles. “I see. Then let me just-” He rocks his hips up and the friction makes Kihyun see stars. Heat is spreading through his body and he wants more. So much more. Oh god, please more. Changkyun rolls his hips up once more. Uh, fuck, yes.

“Hyung, I want you,” his roommate breathes against Kihyun's neck, kissing his way down, while pulling Kihyun's sweater and shirt up.

Kihyun’s mind is tingling in bliss. “You can have me all the ways you want.”

“That list is fucking long.” Changkyun pulls the fabric all the way up, revealing Kihyun's hard nipples. “Can you hold that for me, baby?”

“The longer the better,” Kihyun says, taking the fabric into his mouth, holding it with his teeth. Changkyun's lips are immediately attached to one of Kihyun's nipples and Kihyun arches up, his moans muffled by the fabric. His roommate licks his way further down and Kihyun bites the fabric harder.

Changkyun sits up when his hands reach Kihyun's pants, his gaze not leaving Kihyun, holding his shirt up with his teeth. “You're looking so fucking pretty right now, you can't imagine,” he says while opening the first button of Kihyun's jeans. Kihyun whimpers in need with Changkyun's hands so near his arousal and Changkyun opens the remaining two buttons. “Fuck. No underwear? You're such a tease,” Changkyun says, freeing Kihyun's hard-on from his pants. He licks the precome from the tip and Kihyun is losing his mind, groaning a muffled “fuck” into the fabric, while all his abdominal muscles tighten. Changkyun hums in approval. “A little payback,” he grins. “And now take the sweater and shirt off,” Changkyun demands, pulling Kihyun’s jeans off his legs. “Where is your stuff?”

“Nightstand,” Kihyun breathes, taking the remaining clothes off over his head, falling back onto the sheets and covering his eyes with both arms, because fuck. He feels so hot. Fucking feverish. And he's fucking hard and naked in front of his roommate. 

He hears Changkyun opening the drawer. “Nice toys,” his roommate chuckles amused, rustling through a bunch of things. He drops something next to Kihyun onto the bed and Kihyun hopes it's just condoms and lube because he swears if that's one of the toys he’s going crazy. After a moment of more rustling and sounds of fabric being pulled off, he feels Changkyun's weight on the bed again, approaching him and suddenly there's just skin on skin. So much skin. Fuck, yes. Kihyun drops his arms, welcoming his roommate back into his embrace, enjoying every second of the sweet realization that Changkyun is now lying fully naked between his legs. Kihyun's whole body starts shaking with excitement. He pulls Changkyun into another kiss, wrapping his legs around the lower back, pushing and rolling his hips up to rub himself on Changkyun and uh, fuck. Kihyun moans. He’s in danger to come just like that but he also can't stop himself from rolling his hips again. Ah, shit. It just feels too good. This boy feels so fucking good. He's perfect. So perfect.

“Hyung,” Changkyun moans. “Tell me, have you been using those toys while I was home?”

“Mhm,” Kihyun replies, blissed out by the heavy weight pressing down on him.

“Shit.” Changkyun increases the pressure at their hips and Kihyun reacts with another moan. “Have you been thinking about me while doing so?” he asks.

“A lot,” Kihyun breathes heavily, holding himself tight on his roommate.

Changkyun groans, biting into Kihyun's shoulder. “You're really such a fucking tease.”

“Kyunah, please” Kihyun begs. “Please, fuck me. Please, please, please.” He doesn’t care about the lisp or anything else. He just wants Changkyun deep inside him. So much. So bad. Fuck.

Changkyun groans again and sits up on his knees with spread legs. He grips Kihyun tightly by his hips and pulls him up his thighs. Kihyun hisses with pleasure when his back slides over the sheets. Being manhandled like that. Fuck. It’s the best. Changkyun reaches for the lube, wetting his fingers and spreading some on Kihyun’s entrance. With his index finger, he pushes into Kihyun without warning and Kihyun cries out, sweet pain shooting straight through his body.

“Shit, baby. You’re making me impatient,” Changkyun says, moving his finger in and out repetitively. “It might hurt a little, I’m sorry.” He inserts a second finger soon after and this time, Kihyun is ready for the pain, pushing himself further up for Changkyun to go deeper.

“I wouldn’t even care if you’d tear me up with your dick right from the start. I just want you inside me,” he says, so very impatient himself.

“Don’t tempt me,” Changkyun groans, adding more lube, working his fingers faster. When he hits the prostate, Kihyun screams, leaking precome all over his stomach.

A third finger starts stretching him soon and Kihyun can’t stop himself anymore. He moans and whimpers through the sweet pain and pushes himself onto Changkyuns hand, forcing him even deeper, wanting more. Needing so much more.

“Look at you,” Changkyun hums, his own dick painfully hard and wet with precome. He slides his other hand along Kihyun’s waist. “You’re so pretty, baby. So gorgeous. This needy side of you. I’m really losing it. I’m-” He removes both hands from Kihyun, who’s crying out from the loss. 

Instead, he opens a condom and rolls it over himself. He smears lube all over both of them and aligns himself at Kihyun’s entrance, gripings Kihyun’s hips firmly. But instead of pushing down, he pulls Kihyun’s hips up, letting him slowly glide onto his dick and Kihyun is cursing, biting his arm, overwhelmed by how fucking good this feels. Holy shit. He lifts his legs up on Changkyun’s shoulders and the younger immediately pulls Kihyun’s thighs closer, sliding even deeper into him and Kihyun cries out “Oh god, fuck.” He feels so full, so fucking good.

“Baby,” Changkyun groans with the deepest voice Kihyun's ever heard of him. “Can I move?”

“Yes,” he says, his vision blurred out with need. “Please. Oh god, please move.”

Changkyun leans forward, propping himself on his hands at Kihyun's sides, starting to move. Slowly at first, giving them both space to adjust but his breathing gets heavier and so does his thrusting. “Oh, god. You feel so much better than I had imagined.” He finds a fast rhythm, giving them both the most pleasure and Kihyun, holding onto Changkyun’s arms, moans and screams with each thrust, his face tingling from tension and lust. 

“Uh, Kyunah. Harder. Fuck me harder. Uh, shit, yes. Oh god, this feels so good. Ah. Fuck.” Kihyun pulls himself up with his legs on Changkyun’s shoulders, meeting his thrusts, to go even deeper. “Oh, fuck. Uh, fuck yes.” 

“Sorry, baby,” Changkyun groans. “I’ve been over aroused for too long. We need to cut this short.” And then he adjusts the angle, hitting Kihyun's prostate with each thrust. 

“FUCK. WHAT THE FU- KYUNAH. FUCK. FUCK. UH. OH GOD. I’M GOING TO COME. OH FUCKING SHIT. OH GOD I’M- UHHH FUCK.” Kihyun grabs his dick and the orgasm hits him hard, contracting all his abdominal muscles, making him lean off the sheets. He’s spilling cum all over himself, while stroking his dick through the waves of release.

And then Changkyun lets out a deep groan himself, hitting Kihyun hard one more time before releasing himself deep inside of him and slowly riding out his own orgasm, collapsing beside his roommate afterwards. 

They both chuckle.

“So, you need to go back to uni or...?” Kihyun asks, still trying to catch his breath.

“Yeah, actually, I’m giving a presentation in-” Changkyun takes a look at the time on the nightstand. “30 minutes. Fuck.”

“Before storming off, could you get me some tissues? I’m a mess.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have you seen the lip tint ad with Kihyun? I'm still shaking. And I'm not saying it helped me write this chapter, but that's exactly what I'm saying.

On his birthday, Kihyun wakes up naked in Changkyun’s bed. It’s like waking up exactly where he belongs. He can’t remember the last time he’s been this comfortable in someone else’s bed, staying until morning at that. But here he is, stretching himself in no hurry to leave. Changkyun had to get up early for class, leaving an empty spot behind, and Kihyun didn’t hesitate to roll over and enjoy the softness of Changkyun's pillow.  
These last few days have been mind blowing. Kihyun has been fucked so thoroughly, he’s never felt so satiated in his life. And it's a strange kind of satiation, like his body can finally let go of all the cravings and relax as long as Changkyun is going to feed him the next meal. Because Changkyun feeds him so well. Like last night, when he’s been pushing his hand into Kihyun’s mouth while torturing him with the slowest movements in and out of him. Kihyun wants to order this meal again and again because it was so fucking delicious, his mouth gets watery just thinking about it.  
But it’s not only the sex warming him so nicely. It’s also the little things. Suddenly their bodies will always touch whenever they’re passing each other and they don’t even need any excuses anymore. Even the most ordinary things, like eating, watching TV, coming home, have turned into something different, something more intimate, something that keeps a soft fluttering in Kihyun’s stomach alive.  
Kihyun moves to the edge of the bed, scanning the floor, and smiles when he picks up Changkyun’s shirt. He puts it on and sinks back into the sheets with a sigh. The shirt might not be oversized like Kihyun is used to from his former partners, but it’s still perfect. It smells so good and he wants Changkyun to come home and claim it back immediately. Or rather, Kihyun would want Changkyun to forget the fucking shirt and claim Kihyun’s body instead, just like last night, only faster and rougher because maybe he wouldn’t survive another fuck in slow-mo. By the time Changkyun finally increased the speed, Kihyun was so damn over aroused and trembling, the sudden orgasm made him almost black out and he can still feel the tingling in his head.  
With this memory, Kihyun starts to retrace the path of Changkyun’s hands over his body and the following shiver gives him goosebumps. Lying in Changkyun’s bed, wearing his shirt, thinking about all the things his roommate has done to him and those Kihyun still wants him to do, Kihyun can’t help but slide his hands further down to his erection and he groans when suddenly his ringtone goes off. He moves over to the other side of the bed, looking at the floor somewhere near his pants for his phone.

“Kihyunah! Happy birthday!” Minhyuk exclaims as soon as Kihyun picks up. “Where are you?”

“Thanks. I’m still in bed,” Kihyun answers with a raspy voice, rolling back onto Changkyun's pillow. He’s now looking at a poster of something called the _[Standard Model Lagrangian](https://www.sciencealert.com/images/Screen_Shot_2016-08-03_at_3.20.12_pm.png)_ on the opposite wall while his dick is still low-key asking for attention.

“Keeping the tradition of ditching school on your birthday, huh?”

“I’ve been a good boy. I earned it.”

Minhyuk snorts. “That’s debatable. I bet you're not even in your own bed.”

“True.” 

“For real?!” Minhyuk groans. “I still can't believe you two are fucking. Did you at least have the talk, yet?”

“Do I need to have the talk?”

“Ki, he’s your fucking roommate. If you ever needed the talk, it's with him.”

Kihyun sighs. “It can wait.”

“Yeah, until you come crying to my door?”

“Min, it's been just a few days. Am I not allowed to enjoy this before burdening him with my feelings?”

Minhyuk coughs. “Wow, okay. I thought more of just laying down some rules for roommates with benefits but yeah, why not the full course. Is it really that serious?”

“It's call-the-cops-cuz-he-stole-my-fucking-heart serious.”

“You sure it's not just some kind of after-fuck high?”

“Min, he's perfect. I’ve been living with him for long enough to know. Although, I can't deny, the after-fuck high is pretty sweet,” Kihyun says and the memory of last night is traveling down to his groin.

“Ki, you two seriously need to talk.”

“Mhm, we will,” Kihyun says, losing interest in the topic. His hand is back at his thigh, sliding up under his roommate’s shirt. “He’s giving me so much attention, Min,” he says while brushing over his chest and going back down. “And he calls me pretty all the time,” Kihyun sighs, touching himself between his legs. “I like that so much.” He can hardly hold back a moan.

“I know, baby, I know,” Minhyuk sighs.

“And he feels so good. He makes me feel so good.” Kihyun is really hard by now, gripping his dick, thinking about how much he likes Changkyun's hand around it.

“Ki... ” 

“Mhm?” Stroking himself, Kihyun tries to suppress a change in his breathing but it's hard. It's really hard to focus.

There's a long pause before Minhyuk finally says: “You’re cute, but I'd rather not listen to you jerking off.”

“Okay,” Kihyun breathes. “I call you back.”

He ends the call and drops the phone beside his head, finally able to fully focus on his dick. But while stroking himself towards climax, his thoughts start changing. He doesn't fantasize about his roommate calling him pretty anymore. He wants Changkyun to call him his. He wants Changkyun to say “you're mine”. Kihyun wants this so bad, he can’t think about anything else. Shit, he wants too much again, right? He’s too much again. He’s going to ruin it. Oh, god. He can't ruin this. It's the best fucking thing that has ever happened to him. He doesn't want Changkyun to leave just because he's too much. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. How not to ruin this? Fucking how? Kihyun's erection is dead and he pulls the blanket over his head. 

 

When Changkyun comes home, Kihyun is still wrapped in a blanket but he at least managed to put on his boxers and change the scenery by leaving the bed and dropping himself on the couch. 

“Are you hungry?” Kihyun asks, turning the TV off, while Changkyun takes off his jacket and shoes.

“No, I ate at the cafeteria,” Changkyun answers, going to the bathroom to wash his hands. “What’s the plan for tonight?” he shouts over the running water.

Sitting up, Kihyun takes his phone, scrolling through his chat with Minhyuk. “We’re going to grab some drinks at Pino’s Bar.”

“Is Minhyuk hyung coming over to help you dress up?” Changkyun asks, coming back from the bathroom.

“No, I’m not in the mood to… dress up.”

“Why? You okay?” Changkyun sits down beside Kihyun, putting his hand on Kihyun’s forehead, feeling his temperature.

Kihyun leans into the soft touch. “Yes, I’m fine. I just don’t feel like it.” 

Changkyun's hand moves down to his cheek. “Mhm. I see. But maybe I have something that might lighten your mood.” He stands up and disappears in his room.

“Is it a birthday gift?” Kihyun asks, raising his voice for his roommate to hear.

Changkyun returns with nothing visible in his hands. “Didn’t you say you don’t want any gifts?” He grins and squats down in front of Kihyun.

“I did.” What a pity. “So what is it?”

“Here.” He puts something small into Kihyun’s hand.

“It’s… a lip tint.” Kihyun smiles, looking at the nice reddish color. _Oh my Rose_ , he reads.

“I thought it might look really pretty on you and-” Changkyun coughs lightly into his fist, “I’d like to see it around my dick.” He raises an eyebrow and his fist is covering a grin. 

The fuck. This boy. Oh god, he’s so unreal and Kihyun doesn’t even think twice. He opens the lip tint, looking up at Changkyun, and moves the brush over his bottom lip before pressing both lips together, spreading the paint. “And?” Kihyun asks, showing Changkyun the result. “Is it as pretty as you imagined?”

“Yes,” Changkyun says, tracing the edge of Kihyun’s bottom lip with his thumb. “It's even better.” He smudges some of the paint down over the corner. “So much better.” 

Kihyun needs to close his eyes for a second, his roommate’s deep voiced words tingling his insides. Changkyun moves Kihyun’s bottom lip down to slip his thumb into his mouth and Kihyun welcomes him with his teeth, holding him in place while his tongue is caressing the tip of the thumb. Changkyun hums in approval, moving his thumb further into Kihyun’s mouth, pressing down on his tongue and Kihyun moans at the sweet weight, closing his lips around it, sucking lightly.

“Ah, fuck,” Changkyun groans. This time it’s him closing his eyes for a moment and Kihyun moves his tongue with more pressure over the bottom and sucks harder to force his thumb even deeper into his mouth. “Shit, baby, your mouth is just uh--” Changyun pulls his thumb out and moves himself onto the couch, pulling Kihyun onto his lap, while Kihyun untangles himself from the blanket.

“Are you wearing my shirt?” Changkyun chuckles.

“No.”

“What a pity, I’d like that,” he grins.

“Yeah, too bad.” Kihyun grins as well while untangling Changkyun's belt and opening his pants. He slides off the couch onto his knees, between Changkyun's legs and Changkyun groans in anticipation. Kihyun pulls the shorts down to free Changkyun’s cock and the trimmed hair leading down to the hard shaft is teasing his mind so much, his mouth gets watery even before he gets the real deal into his hand. But when he does, he immediately starts licking over the tip of the head, tasting the precum and Changkyun leans back, huffing, burying his hands in Kihyun’s hair. Kihyun licks down the shaft and presses his tongue firmly against the heaviness, closing his mouth around the head, and starts sucking. It feels so good, he joins Changkyun’s moans with his own. He works his way further down, and when he finally feels the pressure at the back of his throat, his mouth feels so full, his tongue so restrained, he reaches down under Changkyun’s pants and pulls him in even deeper, because he needs more of this and Changkyun lets out a deep moan. 

“Fuck, baby, this is exactly what I had in mind,” he breathes.

Kihyun goes back up to catch his breath. He’s teasing the tip, sucking on the head before going back down, taking Changkyun all in again and he can feel Changkyun’s body tense up. His cock is growing even harder in Kihyun’s mouth and Kihyun starts moving his hand and lips up and down the shaft much faster. Drool is escaping his mouth, running down the shaft and over his hand.

“Uh, shit, I'm- uhh fuck,” Changkyun groans, leaning forward and it doesn’t take much before he pushes Kihyun’s head further down, coming into his mouth and Kihyun moans in pleasure, swallowing it all, while he’s riding out Changkyun’s orgasm until he can feel his muscles relax.

Detaching himself from Changkyun’s cock, drool is running down Kihyun’s chin, and Changkyun reaches down, wiping it off with his thumb. “This color really suits you well,” he says, tracing the smudged paint on Kihyun’s bottom lip. “It’s the prettiest thing I’ve ever seen.” He pulls Kihyun back up onto his lap, and Kihyun is so blown away by need, he can’t help but start grinding himself against Changkyun’s hips.

Changkyun grabs him by the neck, pulling him into a heavy kiss, while his other hand is taking Kihyun’s erection out of his boxers. He holds it tight with fast strokes and Kihyun moans and whimpers into his mouth.

“Kyunah,” Kihyun breathes. “I’m going to dirty your clothes.”

“Don’t worry, baby, I got you.” Changkyun pulls Kihyun closer and turns him around to lay him down on the full length of the couch, before going down on him, taking his dick into his mouth, and Kihyun moans loudly.

“Oh, fuck, Kyunah.” He puts his arms over his eyes, overwhelmed by the wetness and warmth of Changkyun’s mouth. Changkyun starts sucking and Kihyun arches up. “Uh, fuck. Oh, god.”

Changkyun hums and increases the pace until Kihyun buries his hands in his hair, tensing all up. He moans out loud when the orgasm hits him and moans even louder when realizing he's coming into Changkyun's mouth. What a perfect birthday. He collapses in full bliss.

 

Two hours later Kihyun is adjusting his favorite sweater on himself in front of the mirror at the front door. “Kyunah, are you ready? We need to leave or we'll be late.”

“Yeah, almost.” Changkyun comes out of his room, holding a little box in front of Kihyun. “Happy birthday,” he says smiling.

“What?” He takes the box, unsure what to do with it. “What is this?”

“It's your birthday gift.”

“But-”

“Hyung. Just open it.”

Kihyun lifts the lid, looking at a beautiful silver bracelet with two fine chains being hold together by a tiny lock. “Kyunah, what the fuck?” His heart starts racing.

“I hope you like it.” Changkyun takes the bracelet out of the box, asking for Kihyun's wrist. 

Kihyun pulls his sweater up his arm and holds it up in front of Changkyun, watching him lock the bracelet around his wrist. “I love it,” Kihyun whispers, letting the bracelet slide down his arm and back up. “It's beautiful.” It really is. It's making his slim wrist look so much more delicate and feminine. It's perfect. It's fucking perfect.

Kihyun meets Changkyun's eyes and his stomach starts to bubble up those three words he promised himself not to say. Instead he grips Changkyun by his shirt, pulling their lips together. When Changkyun opens his mouth to meet his tongue, Kihyun moans and throws his arms around his neck, pulling them even closer. “Please undress me,” he breathes because these three words are safe to say. 

“We'll be late, then,” Changkyun chuckles, his hands already sliding up under Kihyun's sweater.

“I don't care. I really don't care,” Kihyun says, lifting his arms for Changkyun to pull the sweater over his head and drop it to the floor.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for all the kudos and comments. It means a lot that I'm not going through all of this alone.  
> Especially your comments always give me life because I really very much appreciate the dialogue with you.
> 
> And now, please brace yourselves.

It's the first Saturday night in December and Changkyun is sitting on the armrest of Jooheon’s couch, while the couch itself is occupied by Jooheon and two other guys, being very much invested in a round of Tekken Tag Tournament. Two of them are smashing the PS4 controllers vigorously. There's loud music and a hall party going on and everyone who wants to participate just has to leave their doors open and contribute some booze. As Jooheon has the tendency to pull out weirdly named and surprisingly popular cocktail mixes, the room is full with several familiar and unfamiliar faces. But Changkyun doesn't care much, neither about the game, nor the other people or the booze. His eyes are glued on Kihyun. He’s leaning against the wall near the door, chatting with Minhyuk and some girl he’s seen with Kihyun on campus a few times. Whenever Kihyun takes a sip from his cup, filled with god knows what toxic mixture of alcohol, he will sneak a glance at Changkyun, his eyes sparkling and a smirk hidden in the cup. He’s teasing him again, isn’t he? That white button down shirt he’s wearing today, Changkyun remembers it all too well.

A few days ago Kihyun walked into Changkyun’s room, wearing nothing but that shirt and a loose tie. He sat down in front of him on the desk, pushing books aside. 

“Would you mind leaving some marks?” he asked, spreading his legs. “Preferably here.” His hand has been tracing up his inner thigh.

Changkyun obliged gladly, leaving several hickeys and bite marks on Kihyun's sweet skin before pulling him off the desk and onto his lap, asking him to ride him in return. And Kihyun did, holding onto the tie he put around Changkyun's neck. 

Changkyun likes that shirt very much, and for better or worse, he also knows for a fact that his hyung is going commando under those blue jeans. There's no math genius needed to understand that the result of this equation is Changkyun getting very much turned on.

“Damn it!” Jooheon groans after losing a re-match, passing the controller to the guy next to him, and Changkyun hands him his drink back while taking a sip from his own cup of a wild vodka malibu mix.

“You two are eye fucking everywhere,” Jooheon says, pulling out his phone and nipping at his drink.

Changkyun snorts. “You should’ve focused more on the game and not on what my eyes are doing.”

“I’m just saying, it’s going pretty well with you two.” Jooheon sends a message and locks the screen again. “Are you official now?”

“No, we didn’t talk about it.” Changkyun’s eyes wander back to Kihyun. He’s running a hand through his wavy hair and the bracelet is shining around his wrist. Changkyun feels strangely satisfied.

“You’re not curious if he’s on the same page as you?” 

Next to Kihyun, Minhyuk takes a look at his phone and grins.

“It’s been just three weeks. Isn’t that too soon for a proposal?”

“Dude, you're sharing a bathroom. That's like two years of a non-cohabiting relationship.” His phone vibrates. “I’m actually impressed you're keeping up with his high maintenance. Aren't you getting tired?” He unlocks his screen, reading the message with a smile.

“There’s nothing to get tired of,” Changkyun says, gulping down the rest of his drink. And it’s true. People don’t get the most important thing about Kihyun. Yes, he wants to be taken care of very thoroughly, that’s no secret. But the thing is, he’s also really good at giving back in return and that’s something not everyone gets the pleasure to experience. It’s somewhat like finding a scared kitten, that doesn’t let anyone touch it. But you feed it, and play with it and give it attention. Before you know it, it’s sleeping in your lap and you’re stroking it’s furr because you’re allowed to. Kihyun has the gift of making you feel this kind of special and all you have to do is making him feel special in return. It’s a well balanced give and take. There’s nothing tiresome about it. Because look at him. He’s fucking gorgeous. How can you get tired of him, when he allows you to see him with his pretty blushed cheeks, whimpering needily, begging you to fuck him faster and harder with the sweetest lisp.

Jooheon nudges Changkyun’s leg to get his attention. “You wanna play?” He offers him the controller but Changkyun declines.

Kihyun is playing with his lips again, unconsciously tracing his bottom lip with his index finger while listening to the conversation in front of him. Changkyun once got a glimpse of Kihyun sitting in the library, reading secondary literature for his essay, while biting his fingers and wetting his lips. There was no doubt left that he's into mouth play. But at that time, Changkyun didn't know how much he'd enjoy it himself. There’s just something about Kihyun's mouth, so beautifully rosy and wet, so eager to suck and lick on anything that comes near it, that is shooting spikes of lust straight down to Changkyun’s dick. It’s intense. He’s honestly baffled by all the things his roommate is doing to him.

Kihyun had once asked him about his poster of the Standard Model Lagrangian on his wall. That evening, he was lying on Changkyun's bed with a book in his hand.

“It’s an equation that tries to explain how the universe works,” Changkyun had answered from his desk, working on an assignment.

“It looks complicated.”

“Mhm. It reminds me of you.”

“What? I don't think that's a compliment.”

“Believe me, it is,” Changkyun grinned at Kihyun's frowning face.

“Ok, listen,” Kihyun said, flipping a page in his book. “I'm really bad in math.” He put a bookmark in and closed the book. “And there is an equation, you might need to help me with.” He stood up from the bed, walking up to Changkyun at his desk. “What equals-” he climbed up the chair, sitting down on Changkyun's lap. “Me(in a mini skirt[without underwear])+you(naked[fucking me²])? And you better tell me the result is me, having multiple orgasms because that's what I really want right now.”

It was this moment Changkyun had lost his cool completely. He had to hide his face behind a hand for a moment because fuck, nobody had ever blessed him with mathematical dirty talk before and he really didn’t know it would make his heart race so much.

“What? Did I say something stupid?” Kihyun pulled Changkyun’s hand away from his face and Changkyun chuckled.

“No. You did the math really well. Everything you said is exactly true.” He stood up from the chair, taking Kihyun with him back to the bed, very much decided to keep that poster forever.

“Look who’s back in town,” Jooheon says, pulling Changkyun out of his thoughts.

They watch Hoseok walk into the room, greeting people and shaking hands.

“Why, where’s he been?” Changkyun asks, playing with the empty cup in his hands.

“Dunno. Traveling, working on some collabs, who knows.”

When Kihyun and Hoseok spot each other, Changkyun’s insides tense up. He only just sees Kihyun’s smile turning into the sun before Hoseok pulls him into a hug, covering the sight of him with his broad shoulders. Kihyun’s small hands appear at the other man’s neck when the latter leans in. They’re fucking kissing.

“They haven’t seen each other for a while, then?” The cup in Changkyun’s hands crunches a little. He watches Kihyun whisper something into Hoseok’s ear, before taking his hand and leading him out of the room. 

“Yeah, a few weeks maybe,” Jooheon says, taking the controller that’s been handed to him. 

A few weeks. Like maybe three, and Changkyun has been just a substitute? Thinking back, their… whatever it is, started with Kihyun trying to initiate sex talk with Hoseok and Changkyun just slipped in. He made himself the fucking substitute.

“I need a new drink,” he says, standing up, crushing the cup in his hand.

“This is why I told you to ask for the fucking page,” Jooheon calls after him.

“Fuck the page. I don't care.” Changkyun leaves the room, looking for some distraction elsewhere.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry, baby.

Kihyun is lying on the couch, wrapped in his blanket, watching TV without seeing anything. He’s tired. He’s so damn tired from trying to figure out what went wrong and from keeping himself together. Maybe he’ll just let himself fall apart. It doesn’t matter anyway.

It’s been seven days since Changkyun had distanced himself. Six sleepless nights, Kihyun’s been waiting for Changkyun to change his mind and enter his room. He's been waiting to feel Changkyun's weight on the bed and his arms pulling him close. He wouldn’t even want him to say anything. He wouldn’t even want him to do anything. Kihyun just wanted to sleep in his arms. He just wanted to be back in his arms. So fucking much. It’s pilling up in his throat. It’s choking him. He can’t bear another night without him.

At first, Kihyun had thought that Changkyun had just a really bad hangover from the dorm party. He had left before Kihyun returned from talking with Hoseok. He’s been told that Changkyun had been drinking too much and that he wasn’t feeling well, when he left. So when Kihyun came home that night, Changkyun was already asleep in his room and Kihyun didn't want to wake him. He tried to sleep in his own bed but ended up on the couch in hope he could snuggle up to his roommate as soon as morning came.

But Changkyun didn't let him. He just came out of his room to get some water from the kitchen before going back, closing the door behind him.

“Kyunah,” Kihyun whispered into his room, opening the door just a little. He was still hoping he could join him. “Are you okay? Do you need anything?”

“No, can you please just let me sleep?”

“Sure.” Kihyun closed the door again, swallowing down the feeling of rejection, because Changkyun just had a hangover, right? People need space when they're having a headache. It's okay.

But nothing was okay. Even the next day, Changkyun would brush off any kind of proximity, leaving Kihyun with a feeling of cold cuts tearing at his chest. It took Kihyun three days to realize that he simply wasn’t allowed to touch him anymore. That he was just running into knives every time he tried. So Kihyun stopped. And Changkyun, he never reached out himself. He left Kihyun in a void and Kihyun tried to keep his hands from shaking, because it’s okay, Changkyun just needs some space. Kihyun has been really a little too much these days. It’s okay. He’ll let him rest. It’s fine. Just a few more days and it’ll be fine.

On day four, Kihyun stopped asking Changkyun if he was hungry. His answer would always be the same anyway: “I ate at the cafeteria.” It’s fine. Kihyun didn’t need to cook anymore, because they wouldn't eat together and Kihyun wouldn’t eat at all. He just couldn’t. There was no room for food. He’s been fed up with regrets. He had been too greedy. He didn’t even notice that Changkyun had grown tired of him. Why didn’t he say anything? He could’ve just said something. Kihyun would’ve backed off. He would’ve given him room to breathe. He just didn’t notice. Oh god, why didn’t he notice. He didn’t want Changkyun to be tired of him. He would’ve backed off. But he didn’t notice. He didn’t notice because he was excited and so much in love. He’s so sorry. He’s so fucking sorry. For not noticing... Maybe just a few more days. Kihyun could endure this for a few more days. It’s okay, a few more days and it’ll be fine. He loves Changkyun so much, he'll back off and it'll be fine.

Kihyun had known that he’s in love with Changkyun right from the start, when he stopped texting Hoseok. He just didn’t need anyone else anymore. He didn’t want anyone else. He knew with all his body and heart that he wanted Changkyun to be his only one. That’s why, when Hoseok tried to kiss him at the dorm party, he dodged the kiss, turned it into a small peck and pulled their foreheads together, giving Hoseok a moment to adjust to the sudden change. Hoseok raised an eyebrow and Kihyun whispered “We need to talk,” into his ear, taking his hand to lead him out of the room.

They found a quiet place one floor downstairs, sitting side by side at the bottom of the staircase.

“You’re breaking up with me,” Hoseok said a little amused. Their shoulders and legs were touching and Kihyun didn’t have to remember why he’s been always so attracted to him. He made Kihyun's skin tingle so nicely.

“How can I break up with you, when we’ve never been really together?” 

Hoseok chuckled. “Aren’t you about to tell me that you want to stop being physical but that we can still remain friends?”

“Well, if you’re saying it like this then, yes, I’m breaking up with you. I’m sorry.”

Hoseok took Kihyun’s hand into his. “Don’t be. We had fun. I’ll miss it though.”

“I’d be offended if you didn't,” Kihyun said with a smile, enjoying Hoseok's warmth. It felt nice. He always had a way to make Kihyun feel nice. But feeling nice wasn’t enough anymore. Kihyun wanted to feel Changkyun. Always just Changkyun.

Hoseok laughed and kissed Kihyun's hand. “But seriously, call me, okay? If you wanna grab something to eat or just talk. You can call me anytime.” He let go of Kihyun’s hand and put his arm around Kihyun.

“Okay. I will,” Kihyun said, leaning into the familiar proximity.

“You look really pretty tonight.” Hoseok whispered into his hair after a moment of silence. 

Kihyun nudged him with his elbow. “You’re not allowed to call me pretty anymore.”

“What? Are you kidding?”

“No. It’s a basic rule of our new friendship.”

“This friendship is no fun. I want a refund.”

“Shut up. You buy it, you keep it.” 

“I’m crying. But now, tell me about the one who's stolen you away from me. I'm curious.”

“Well, it all started with this really hot guy standing at my door and…” 

They talked for an hour and didn’t even notice. Kihyun really enjoyed talking about his roommate and then Hoseok offered him one of his ear buds and they’ve been listening to some of his new tracks. They returned to Jooheon’s room as nothing more than good friends and it felt right.

On day five Minhyuk had found Kihyun in the library, dozing off on his books.

“Hey, Ki, honey,” he whispered, sitting down next to him. “You shouldn’t sleep here. Go home.”

“No, I wanna finish this essay,” he murmured, sitting up and rubbing his face. 

“You okay?” Minhyuk tried to stroke through Kihyun’s hair but Kihyun didn’t let him.

He just couldn’t. There was this burning lump in his throat and he was afraid any kind of affection might push him over the edge. He wasn't ready to cry. Not yet. He had still a few days left. Everything would be fine. “I’m fine. I’m just tired,” he said, putting Changkyun’s glasses on. 

He wasn’t proud of it, but he had stolen them. Changkyun wouldn’t miss them anyway as there was no lens strength. But to Kihyun wearing these glasses was almost comforting. It was a very soft feeling of hurt compared to the cold burns in his chest. It wasn’t much, but at least it was something of Changkyun he could feel on himself.

“Don’t get this the wrong way, hun, but you look like shit and you're acting weird. Did you have a fight with Kyunnie?”

Kihyun sighed. “No.” He almost wished they had a fight. He’s been so desperate for any kind of attention, he’d even take the bad one. “This week’s been just kind of… exhausting.”

“Ki, you can sleep at my place anytime.” 

“I said it’s fine.” 

On day six Kihyun put the bracelet off but felt the regret immediately. No matter how much it hurt to look at it, it hurt even more when it was gone. It felt like Changkyun was gone, and Kihyun panicked. He tried to put it back on but he couldn't really grab the fine lock firmly enough to close the chains. The panic took over and that's when Kihyun started crying. 

Now, it's been seven days since Changkyun had distanced himself and Kihyun is at his limit. He tried really hard to endure the loneliness but he is tired now. Maybe it’s time to accept that he fucked up again, that Changkyun doesn’t need a few days of space but maybe he’s just really fed up with Kihyun, just like everyone else. 

It’s late in the evening when Changkyun comes home and Kihyun is still on the couch, zapping throw the channels just because he needs his hands occupied. They greet each other with a simple “hi” and then Changkyun’s door falls close again. Kihyun turns the TV off. He’s done with it. He’s done with it all. He can’t bear another night without him. He’s going to give it a last chance and then he’ll pack his things and go because he just can’t anymore. He had forgotten how to live in this apartment without touching him and he doesn’t want to remember how to live here without being touched by him. He’d rather leave everything behind than turning their distance into something normal. Because it’s wrong. It feels just fucking wrong.

So he gathers whatever courage is left in him and walks up to Changkyun’s door. His hands are trembling when he knocks, but when nobody answers, he enters anyway.

The room is dark except the lightened screen on the desk where Changkyun is sitting.

“Kyunah,” Kihyun says as calmly as he can, hoping the trembling won’t be audible. “Kyunah, I’m… I’m feeling really lonely, c-could you please--”

“Hyung.” Changkyun sighs, sounding annoyed. He doesn’t even turn around and Kihyun almost doesn’t recognize his voice. “I’m busy. Why don’t you ask Hoseok hyung to play with you?”

And then it hits him. It's over. Kihyun thought he was prepared but it still hits him hard. Changkyun is passing him on to someone else. He’s tired of him. He doesn’t want him anymore. It's really over.

Kihyun backs off out of the room without saying anything. He closes the door and thinks he might choke but the burning lump in his throat starts pushing tears out of his eyes and the cold knives in his chest turn to something bigger and heavier. He’s just conscious enough to grab a coat and slip into his shoes before leaving the apartment.

He’s knocking at Minhyuk’s door frantically because he can’t handle it anymore. He’s falling apart. Someone needs to catch him. He’s just completely falling apart. Someone please catch him. And then Jooheon opens the door. Fuck.

Kihyun tries to stop his running nose and to wipe off his tears but he’s fucking leaking. It’s useless. “I’m s-sorry,” he stutters. “I’m- I didn’t want to disturb- I’m- I’m sorry.”

He turns around and walks back to the elevator, pressing the button repeatedly but the stupid thing won’t come and Kihyun squats down because his heart feels so heavy and he can’t hold it anymore. He just wants to go home. He wants to go home so fucking bad. But every home he ever had is gone. He has nowhere to go. Where the fuck will he go now? 

There’s a hand on his shoulder. “Hey, baby,” Minhyuk says softly and joins him on the floor. “What’s wrong?” He gently pets Kihyun’s head and Kihyun is just losing it. He throws himself into Minhyuk’s arms and Minhyuk falls back on his bottom but he keeps holding him and Kihyun is sobbing into his shirt. “Shhh, baby, I’m here.” Minhyuk puts more pressure into the hug, knowing it’ll help Kihyun to calm down. “Come on Ki, let’s go in,” he whispers into Kihyun’s ear. “And then tell me what happened.”

After Minhyuk had tucked him into his bed, holding him tight, while listening to all the hurt he’s has been piling up over these last few days, Kihyun finally calms down. All the sleepless nights suddenly feel so heavy on his eyes, he’s about to drift off to sleep.

“It’s been just three weeks, Min. He grew tired of me within three weeks,” he mumbles while his body gets heavier and heavier in Minhyuk’s arms.

“You did nothing wrong, baby.” Minhyuk whispers, kissing his forehead. “Why don't you sleep a little.” He’s stroking Kihyun’s hair. “I’ll go just real quick to the convenience store, okay? I forgot to buy some milk for breakfast.”

“Okay.” Kihyun lets Minhyuk go, turning around and Minhyuk leaves the bed.

“If you need anything, Jooheon’s on the couch, okay?”

“Mhm…” Kihyun doesn’t even hear the door closing, when he finally falls asleep.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you there? I feel like someone shot me, call 911.

"Why don’t you ask Hoseok hyung to play with you?"

Fuck. The moment the words leave his mouth, Changkyun knows he crossed a line. He's a fucking jerk. Kihyun just silently leaves the room and Changkyun sighs, rubbing his eyes. He didn’t mean it. The bitterness just poured out of him. This week has been such a mess. He's never felt jealous before and even now he's pretty sure it's not jealousy eating him up. Maybe he got a taste of it, when Kihyun disappeared with Hoseok at the dorm party, doing who knows what for way too long. But that nasty feeling turned really quickly into something different, and Changkyun didn’t know how to deal with it. He feels possessive like a fucking creep and doesn't know what to do with it, and Kihyun is giving him fucking mixed signals. There’s something about Kihyun screaming at him to own him, and Changkyun’s instincts want nothing but to comply with a roaring intensity, but then there’s fucking Hoseok back in the picture. Changkyun had the feeling that if he got his hands on Kihyun, he’d be too rough with him. He’d angry fuck him until he’d finally vow to be only his. Changkyun didn’t recognize himself and that’s why he’s been pushing him away. He didn’t want Kihyun to see this ugly side of him, and every day he grew angrier with himself. He knew his behavior would push Kihyun only further towards Hoseok, and when he noticed this morning that Kihyun wasn’t wearing the bracelet anymore, he just fucking lost it. He wanted to smash their lips together and press him up against a wall to fucking remind him to whom he belongs, but instead, he left the apartment and only came back when he managed to calm himself down. Or at least he thought so, until he heard himself talking to Kihyun like the salty asshole he had become during this long ass week of choking on his sick possessiveness. Fuck. Kihyun didn't deserve that.

He leaves his room to catch some water from the kitchen, or so he tells himself, but the apartment seems strangely empty, and he wonders if Kihyun might’ve really gone to Hoseok. It bugs him more than ever and he pulls out his phone but Kihyun's ringtone goes off from the couch. Perfect. Why the fuck would he leave his damn phone at home? Changkyun sighs. He sits down on the couch, putting Kihyun’s phone on the coffee table, and leans back in frustration. What is he supposed to do now? There’s no back and forth. Changkyun sighs again, grabbing the remote control, switching the TV on. He's acting like a jealous fuck, and like the jealous fuck he is, he’s going to wait for Kihyun to come home.

Two hours later, there’s finally some rustling at the front door and Changkyun turns the TV off. But instead of Kihyun, it's Minhyuk entering the apartment.

Changkyun stands up, looking at Minhyuk crossing the room in a fast pace. “Hyung, what ar--”

“Shut up, you little shit.” Minhyuk twists his fist into the collar of Changkyun’s shirt, lifting it up to his chin. “You damn brat might think you’re so fucking smart with your fucking math shit-”

“What the-” 

“--and Kihyun might think you’re the fucking daddy or whatever fucking kink you’re playing, but to me you’re just a stupid kid, so listen fucking well!”

Changkyun grabs Minhyuk’s arm. “Hyung, calm down.”

But Minhyuk just shakes his fist along with Changkyun. “I said, fucking listen!” It’s forcing Changkyun to close his eyes for a second, swallowing down the urge to free himself by force. “I’m giving you exactly one chance, you hear me?” Minhyuk says, almost yelling. “ONE FUCKING CHANCE to apologize and make things right again! You pullin’ such shit just one more time and I swear I fucking break you into pieces and throw you into the fucking Han River attached to a fucking bag full of stones! Nobody will find you! Do you understand?!”

“Hyung, please let go of me.”

Minhyuk shakes him again. “I fucking asked if you understood!”

Changkyun closes his eyes again. “If you'd tell me what you're talking about, I might.”

“I’m talking about you better getting over your fucking jealousy act or I’ll put you into a fucking shredder!” He pushes Changkyun towards the couch, letting go of him. Changkyun loses his balance, falling onto the cushions, and Minhyuk walks into the kitchen. He returns with two glasses and a bottle of whiskey. Putting them on the coffee table, he sits down on the armchair and pours some of the alcohol into both glasses, sliding one of them towards Changkyun. “Drink.”

“Hyung, I’m--”

“Damn it, Kyunah, you either drink with me now or I might throw the first punch!”

Fair enough. Changkyun gulps down the alcohol. He can’t prevent a grimace from the strong taste while Minhyuk hisses loudly.

“So here’s my problem,” Minhyuk says, putting the empty glass down on the table. “You’re the reason my Ki just had a fucking breakdown in front of my door and I can hardly keep myself from beating the shit out of you.”

“Wait, what?”

Minhyuk pours himself another glass of whiskey. “Yes, congratulations, you fucked up.” He raises his glass to Changkyun before gulping it down, this time hissing much less but his uneven blink shows. “Since you’ve been rejecting him so fucking nicely, he’s very much convinced that you’ve grown tired of him and that’s fucking breaking his heart.” He puts the glass back on the table. “God, I hate you so much right now.”

Changkyun is in need of another drink but he doesn’t dare coming near Minhyuk for the bottle. “Where is he?”

“At my place, sleeping. Fucking finally. Did you know he didn’t sleep for days?”

“What do you mean, he didn’t sleep? Why wouldn’t he sleep?” There’s a burning knot twisting Changkyun’s guts and it’s definitely not the alcohol.

“He’s been lonely as fuck!” 

Lonely. The twisting intensifies. “Why would he be lonely? There’s still Hoseok hyung.” The bitterness tastes much worse than the whiskey.

Minhyuk groans, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Okay, listen. I know everyone expects Kihyun to be the fucking leader of this new fancy poly movement but he isn’t okay? In fact, as soon as he chooses someone to be his person, he’s the most monogamous soul you’ll ever meet. Before we broke up, during all our fights, even I was fucking ready to change what we had into an open relationship just so he could get what he needed and still be with me, okay? You wanna know what he said, when I suggested that? He told me to fucking go to hell!” Minhyuk reaches out for Kihyun’s phones and stands up. “He’s going to stay with me tonight and I’m taking his phone. Don’t you dare contacting him before sunrise,” he says, warning Changkyun with a glare that doesn’t leave any doubt about his threats.

Changkyun just stays silent, trying to figure out what to do with these variables.

At the door Minhyuk turns back to him. “Oh, and just so you know, Kihyunnie ended things with Hoseok hyung at the dorm party. It shouldn’t be too hard for you to guess whom he chose to be his person, and now have fun feeling like shit, ‘cuz if you ask for my biased opinion, you really deserve it!” He slams the door shut and Changkyun is met with an empty and heavy silence.

He lets himself fall lengthways on the couch. He fucked up. He completely fucked up, and the realization makes him nauseous.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know what to say. These two are the biggest mess.

At sunrise, about 7:37 a.m., Changkyun is standing in front of Minhyuk’s apartment. His hand is already lifted for the first knock on the door, but he’s still waiting, counting a few more seconds, just to be sure. 

He’s been torturing himself throughout the whole night, because dammit, he had been too deep up his own ass to notice that Kihyun has been hurting. Why didn’t Kihyun say anything? He could’ve just said something. But he did, didn’t he? Just not with so many words. For fuck’s sake, Kihyun never used words for the details, forcing Changkyun to pay attention. And for once he didn’t. He’s been just smashing pieces together without looking at their colors and forms, like he’s been tired of that damn puzzle. Like he’s been tired of Kihyun. Fuck. Why didn’t he notice the picture looked off? Why didn’t he fucking notice? Now that Minhyuk had forced him to take a step back and look at the progress displayed in front of him, he could see all the little gaps and crushed corners. He could see Kihyun's eyes getting more tired every day and how his smile, although still there, despite everything, still being offered to Changkyun, had lost its shine, looking strained and lethargic. How Kihyun had tried to keep up their proximity by asking to eat together, to watch a movie together, to go home together, to do all those daily things together, but growing more and more silent the more Changkyun rejected him. And then Kihyun fucking told him with actual words, that he was lonely and Changkyun just brushed him off, because he didn’t feel like playing games anymore. But Kihyun also stopped playing, didn’t he? When he said he was lonely, he actually meant it. Fuck.

Changkyun lowers his hand, knocking his head against the door, suddenly unsure if he even has the right to be here. He should’ve just fucking noticed. Thinking back, the hurt has been written all over Kihyun’s face this whole time. He hasn’t been hiding it at all. He wanted him to see, but Changkyun chose to be blind, brooding over the fucking wrong equation this whole damn time. Shit. He fucked up so bad, Kihyun might not even want to see him anymore. And then what? Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. He bangs his head repeatedly against the door. Fuck. Noticing what he's doing, he stops and leans against the door frame, wishing Minhyuk had actually punched him in the face. At least then, he could be focusing on something more physical than this undefined nausea in his guts.

Then suddenly, Jooheon opens the door. 

“What the fuck, dude? You know what time it is?” Jooheon’s voice is raspy and his eyes are so small, they might even be still closed. His messy hair and striped boxer shorts indicate just as well that he’s not an early bird.

“It’s I don’t care o’clock,” Changkyun says, still leaning against the door frame. “Someone told me you found my kitten and I’m here to pick it up.”

Jooheon just snorts. “I don’t know, man. You did such a shitty job at taking care of it, even I’m reluctant to give it back to you.”

“Where is he?”

“Still sleeping. Let’s keep it that way for now,” Jooheon says, nevertheless, giving Changkyun a sign to come in.

Changkyun sighs, taking off his jacket and shoes, following Jooheon into the kitchen.

“I’m glad you’re still alive, though” Jooheon says, grabbing two mugs from the cupboard. “I’ve been trying to come up with an alibi for Min but you know I’m not good at lying.”

Changkyun snorts, sitting down at the little kitchen table.

“Anyway.” Jooheon switches the coffee machine on and leans against the counter. “Sorry, Min went all berserk on you.” 

“Don’t be. I deserved it.” Changkyun is rubbing his eyes. The weariness of last night starts to feel heavy on his shoulders. 

“That’s debatable.” Jooheon says. “I mean, you’re both adults and Kihyun hyung should be able to speak up for himself. But don’t tell Min I said that, he’d rip my head right off.”

“I don’t doubt that for a second,” Changkyun grins tiredly.

“When it comes to Kihyun hyung, he’s just very sensitive.”

“Who’s sensitive?” Minhyuk walks into the kitchen, putting a sweater on over his head, and Jooheon coughs.

“Me. I might’ve catched a cold,” Jooheon says, coughing again. “Since I've been exiled to sleep on the couch.”

“Mhm, sure. You’ll survive, hun.” Minhyuk leans back at the kitchen counter next to Jooheon, rubbing his back while his gaze falls on Changkyun, making the younger tense up.

“You’re early,” Minhyuk says.

“You said sunrise, didn’t you?”

“I did. So you paid attention. Good to know.” He grabs one of the two mugs on the counter, pouring himself some tap water. “He’s awake,” Minhyuk says then, pointing with his head in direction of the bedroom, and that’s all the permission Changkyun needs.

Standing in front of the bedroom door, his hand already on the handle, he takes a moment to calm down. 64x321=20544. He can't fuck up again. 419x52=21788. 56x83/3=1549,something, who the fuck cares. He opens the door, slowly and quietly. The room is still half-dark. There's just enough light to indicate Kihyun's body on the bed, facing away from the door, and Changkyun doesn't hesitate approaching the bed. The mattress gives in to his weight but Kihyun doesn't react, and Changkyun slips under the blanket. He almost sighs, when he puts his arm around Kihyun's waist. It feels so good. This familiar intimacy. Oh, god. How did he manage to stay away from this man for so long? He must have been really completely out of his mind.

“Hey, baby,” he says as calm as possible, trying not to scare his love. But as soon as Kihyun hears the deep voice, his whole body stiffens. Changkyun pulls him closer to his chest, afraid Kihyun might want to move away, but he doesn’t move at all, so Changkyun just buries his nose in Kihyun's hair. Shit, he smells so nice, like leaving the shower and not bothering to put clothes on because they’d be taken off again anyway. Fuck, he’s missed Kihyun so much. It feels like a drug relapse. A roaring need is rushing through his body and he’s growing hard against Kihyun. But Changkyun doesn’t move away, he wants Kihyun to know. He needs Kihyun to know how much he’s wanted.

“What are you doing here?” Kihyun asks his voice still raspy but also much deeper than usual. 

Changkyun lowers his nose down to Kihyun's neck, kissing the soft skin. Kihyun’s scent and taste, has it always been this sweet? Changkyun’s body remembers fast, wanting more, growing harder. “I'm here to take you home.” He won't leave without him. He just can't leave without him. 

Kihyun tries to shift away. “No,” he says.

Fuck. It’s almost physical painful for Changkyun to hold back but he gives Kihyun more room. “Hyung, I’m sorry,” he sighs with regret, resting his forehead on Kihyun’s shoulder. “I’ve been a jealous fuck. I didn’t mean to.”

“Why would you be jealous?” Kihyun asks.

“My mind just went blank the moment I saw you with Hoseok hyung. I'm sorry.” Changkyun can't help but slide his hand under Kihyun's shirt. He’s in desperate need of more skin contact and shit, it feels so good. This firm little body always feel so good in his hands. Changkyun is fully hard now, pulling Kihyun closer again by instinct, and when his lips find their way back to Kihyun’s neck, he can feel Kihyun soften to the touch. But still, Kihyun pushes his arm down, stopping Changkyun’s hand from roaming further up his body.

“I can't do this anymore,” he sighs.

Changkyun stops. “What do you mean?” If Kihyun tells him now that it’s over, he’s going crazy. Fuck, he can’t tell him that it’s over.

“I mean, u-us.” Kihyun's voice is shaking and Changkyun’s stomach drops at least five floors. He pulls away.

“What?”

“I-If you don't l-love me back, I c-can't do this anymore.” 

Oh, fuck. Changkyun sighs in relief. It’s a GO. It’s a fucking GO, and he pulls Kihyun back against his chest, unable to hold back anymore. He pulls at Kihyun’s sleeve to reveal the skin on his shoulder, attaching his lips immediately and pressing his cock against Kihyun’s sweet bottom, where it fucking belongs.

Kihyun swallows down a moan. “Kyunah, didn't you hear what I said?”

“I heard you loud and clear.” His hand slides down Kihyun's torso, slipping under the waistband of his boxers and the tip of Kihyun’s dick is already there, already hard. Fuck, yes. “And I'm not stopping, so you should know what this means.”

But Kihyun grabs his arm, forcing Changkyun out of his boxers. “Kyunah, I'm done assuming.” He turns around, facing Changkyun.

And that’s when it truly hits him. The light in the room has changed enough for Changkyun to see Kihyun’s face. It feels like a punch to his guts. Kihyun’s eyes are red and so puffy, it makes Changkyun choke on the guilt, biting his insides. He reaches out, stroking gently over the sensitive skin under Kihyun’s eyes and down to his cheekbones. They’re more prominent now. Kihyun didn’t eat properly, dammit. Changkyun needs to make himself clear. Kihyun has been suffering because he never made himself clear.

“Please be mine,” he whispers. “Please, promise me to be only mine.”

“Kyunah...” Kihyun's body starts shaking. “Do you even know-”

“I know and I want it all.” He strokes over Kihyun's lower lip. It feels dry and chapped. He leans in. He wants to make it soft and moist again.

“I didn't brush my teeth, yet,” Kihyun whispers. He’s never allowed Changkyun to kiss him in the mornings. But this time, Kihyun still keeps shifting his gaze to Changkyun's lips, and Changkyun slides his hands to the back of Kihyun's neck, pulling him closer. 

“Just this once, baby” he whispers back. “Because I really couldn't care less.”

He let's their lips touch very carefully. It’s been too long, and things have changed. Everything feels different now. Even Kihyun's dry lips are so foreign to him. He cups his bottom lip, licking over it, trying to heal it, trying to make it better, and Kihyun shifts forward, grabbing Changkyun’s shirt, finally not pushing him away, but pulling him in, until their hips meet and Kihyun moans so sweetly, opening his mouth for Changkyun to take more of him, and Changkyun wants to take it all, while the luscious wetness of Kihyun’s tongue sends electricity right down to his cock.

“Let's go home, baby,” Changkyun breathes into Kihyun's mouth. “I want you so much, I'd take you right here if it wasn't for Minhyuk hyung behind that door.”

But Kihyun forces Changkyun onto his back and sits up on his crotch. “I don't care about Min,” he says, taking his shirt off. “I need you to show me exactly how much you want me and then-” Kihyun grinds his ass on Changkyun’s swelling, making him moan while unbuckling his belt. “-you better tell me that you l-love me or you can go home alone.”

Changkyun chuckles, gripping Kihyun's ass tightly. “Got it,” he says, surprising Kihyun by suddenly turning them back around onto Kihyun's back, positioning himself between his legs. “How about I tell you now?” he asks, focusing on Kihyun's soft, wavy hair, caressing it gently, before their eyes meet again, and then he just says it. “I love you.”

It’s silent for a long moment. Their eyes are taking over the conversation, until Kihyun's lips finally lift into a smile. He buries his hands in Changkyun's hair, pulling him in for another kiss, but this time so much more demanding, and Changkyun rolls his hips up, feeling his cock twitching when Kihyun lets him hear with his sweet voice how much he's enjoying the friction.

“I promise” Kihyun pants, tugging at Changkyun's shirt. “I’m only yours.”

Changkyun groans in relief, these words being his salvation. He takes off the shirt, before smashing their lips back together, sliding his hand down under Kihyun’s boxers, cupping his ass, and they both moan, when he presses himself deeper between Kihyun’s legs.

Kihyun shivers, when Changkyun’s lips reach a sensitive spot under his ear. “But I need a lot of attention,” he breathes. 

“Mhm,” Changkyun replies, while tugging at Kihyun’s boxers. There’s too much clothes between them.

“And I need you to fuck me a lot.” Kihyun says, helping Changkyun to free him from the unwanted fabric.

“I’m down for that,” Changkyun says, taking off his own pants and trunks, lying back down between Kihyun’s legs, and fuck, it feel so good. There’s just skin on skin left. Kihyun’s naked thighs brushing over Changkyun’s hips, ah shit. They both press into each other, grind over each other, still not close enough, and Kihyun holds onto Changkyun so firmly, Changkyun might as well just crush him with his whole weight.

“And you're not allowed-” Kihyun's voice starts breaking. “-to neglect me again.” He tightens his grip even more. “Don’t make me feel like that ever again.” Kihyun suddenly starts sobbing. “Please don't make me feel like that again.” Fuck.

Changkyun frees himself from Kihyuns hold and sits up, pulling him into his lap, and Kihyun, clutching onto him for dear life, just starts crying on Changkyun’s shoulder.

“I’m so sorry, baby,” Changkyun whispers into Kihyun’s ear, while stroking his hair. “It won’t ever happen again, I promise.”

“You didn't allow me to touch you. It hurt so much.”

“I know, baby. I’m sorry, I fucked up.”

“I really thought you didn't want me anymore.” Kihyun sobs and coughs, unable to breathe properly.

“Shhh, Hyung. Since the day we've met, there has never been a moment I didn't want you.” 

But Kihyun just keeps crying, and Changkyun cups his face, forcing Kihyun to look at him. “Baby, please listen. You're mine now. You belong to me. I won't let go of you again, okay?” He almost doesn’t notice the hesitant nod. But it’s okay. He’ll earn his trust back. For now he’ll just focus on kissing Kihyun’s lips, tasting the coat of tears, being thankful for Kihyun to kiss him back, despite it all, and it seems to calm them both down. 

“I want to go home,” Kihyun says, sniffling. “Please take me home.”

“Okay, let’s go home, baby.” Changkyun kisses his forehead and reaches out for their clothes.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My chapters might be just snacks while we're all waiting for the big meals to drop but I hope you can still enjoy this snacking.

“You know, my life was way easier, when you were still using that homemade gaff,” Minhyuk says, securing the last piece of tape at Kihyun’s back. 

“Shut up, it wasn't that bad this time.” Kihyun moves his ass to check if the tape holds everything in place.

“It’s still weird watching your ex getting half hard while trying to tape himself!” Minhyuk takes the prepared corset from the closed toilet seat, holding it low for Kihyun to step in and pulling it up over his hips up to his chest.

“You could’ve just left, then!” Kihyun adjusts the corset around his ribs, holding it in place, before Minhyuk starts lacing it up at the back.

“And listen to you cursing the fucking tape for two hours because you can’t get it straight and even? No, thanks.” He pulls firmly at the laces and Kihyun gasps.

“Then shut up,” Kihyun says, inhaling sharply. “Be thankful I got fucked good before coming here and we’re making it in time for once.” Unlike on Minhyuk’s birthday, when they’ve been way too late because Kihyun had been too sensitive and nervous to get his boner under control.

Minhyuk groans. “Stop bragging about your sex life. It’s getting old.” He works practiced and fast through the many sections of lace. “Does the nerd boy at least know how to take care of you other than blessing your ass with his dick?”

“He’s feeding me,” Kihyun replies with a grin, thinking about three days ago, when he walked into the kitchen just to find Changkyun at the stove, stirring a pot. 

It was quite early in the morning, but Changkyun was already fully dressed for his appointment with a professor at the maths department, and he looked fine as fuck with that white button down shirt, his sleeves rolled up to his elbows. His hair was styled back and he was wearing the glasses, Kihyun had snuck back into Changkyun’s room. It was such a cool and mature look, so formal and CEO-ish, so sexy. Kihyun wanted nothing more than pulling that shirt off of him while being pressed against the kitchen counter. The urge was tingling heavily in his hands but Kihyun promised himself to behave. He didn't want Changkyun to be late for his appointment, so he decided to help himself differently.

“What are you doing?” he asked, pulling his phone out of the front pocket of his sweater.

“I’m making breakfast for you, because you're still not eating enough.”

“That’s sweet.” Kihyun smiled, while pointing the camera at his boyfriend.

“But I don’t know how to make the fancy stuff, so it’s just porridge, sorry.” Changkyun heard the clicking of the camera and turned his gaze at Kihyun. “What are you doing?” 

“It seems there’s a handsome chaebol cooking in my kitchen,” Kihyun said with a wide grin, taking a few more snaps of Changkyun watching him from above the glasses. “And I’m going to jerk off to this sight as soon as I’m alone.”

Changkyun laughed, turning off the stove, moving the pot to a cool spot. “Why wait for later-” He walked up to Kihyun, taking the phone out of his hands, putting it on the kitchen counter. “When you still have the real deal in front of you?” He stepped even closer, forcing Kihyun to back off until he bumped into the wall next to the door. “Don’t you feel like touching yourself right now, baby?” 

Kihyun closed his eyes, biting his lip to stop himself from grinning like a fool. The butterflies were back, spreading through his body. Only this boy knew how to do this to him. Kihyun could feel Changkyun caging him with his arms left and right next to his head, propping himself against the wall, and Kihyun knew, the moment he would open his eyes, there would be nothing else but him and Changkyun, so close, looking at each other and Kihyun would lose himself. He took a deep breath to prepare but it still left him breathless. This dark ocean of Changkyun's sweet brown eyes with those glasses sitting slightly lower than before… Did he want to touch himself? Kihyun licked his lips.

“Yes,” he replied, running a hand under the waistband of his sweatpants and shorts, hissing with pleasure at the tightening feeling in his muscles the moment he put his fingers around the already hardened shaft.

Changkyun smirked. “You’re so cute, hyung. Do you want my help?”

“Yes, please,” Kihyun lisped heavily, pulling his boner out of his pants, craving Changkyun's touch so much.

But the younger didn't move his hands at all. He just leaned in and when Kihyun felt Changkyun's breath at his ear, his eyes fluttered shut again.

“When I get home later,” Changkyun whispered, still loud enough for the deep tone of his voice to sent shivers down Kihyun's body, forcing Kihyun to move his own hand over his dick, the need getting too heavy. “I want you to wear the tartan mini skirt.” 

Kihyun moaned. He felt his knees getting weak while stroking himself slowly, remembering all those fantasies of Mr. Im fucking him in his office.

“I want you to be ready. I want you to be all slick and stretched and waiting for me. Can you do that, kitten?”

“Mhm.” Kihyun leaned his head back against the wall, moving his hand faster up and down his dick. He loved it so much, being called kitten. It was tingling in his head so sweetly. Uh, he’d be gladly fucking himself open for Changkyun. Any time. And maybe he couldn’t wait. So he slid a finger in his mouth, licking and sucking over it, wetting it with so much saliva, it was running down his hand, making his dick twitch higher. 

“I want you to wait in my room and when I'm back, I'll bend you over my desk.” Changkyun hummed, kissing the sweet spot under Kihyun's ear and Kihyun shivered again, swallowing down a moan, moving his finger out of his mouth and down his back, pushing lightly against his entrance. 

“Tell me,” Changkyun whispered against Kihyun's skin. “How do you want me to fuck you?" His voice was breathy and thick, making Kihyun feel wanted, making him feel so good. So fucking good. 

He pushed his finger inside himself, welcoming the burning sensation with a hiss. He felt so hot and breathless, panting into his strokes, pushing his finger deeper, growing harder in his hand. He was so close. Changkyun made him feel so close.

“Come on pretty, tell me what you want.”

The pressure grew so intense and sweet, Kihyun pushed the angle of his dick towards the floor, while his finger was two knuckles deep inside of him. He moaned shamelessly loud.

“Mhm,” Changkyun expressed his liking, nibbling at Kihyun's ear lobe. “But how about using words, baby?” he said so deep and softly, it almost sent Kihyun over the edge.

“I want you to fuck me hard,” Kihyun breathed heavily, another shiver running down his spine from saying those words. “Please, fuck me hard, uh fuck, oh go-” The orgasm rolled over him, making him so tight around his finger, tensing up in his whole body, making him come all over the kitchen floor. Changkyun just had to spread his legs further apart to keep his clothes save.

“I will,” he chuckled into KIhyun’s ear, then, moved away to reach for some paper towels on the kitchen counter. “Are you still going to use those pictures?” he asked, helping Kihyun to clean up, ignoring the big bulge in his own pants.

“You bet, I will,” Kihyun replied with a smile, still panting.

And he used them really well…

“Hey,” Minhyuk pulls sharply on the laces to get Kihyun’s attention and Kihyun coughs, forcing himself out of his headspace, just now realizing that his dick started to complain about the tape. He really had to be more careful keeping the blood flow above his waist tonight.

“Does the nerd boy at least feed you with actual food or are we still talking about his dick?”

“Min,” Kihyun sighs. “Can’t you just stop already?”

“With what?”

“You’re still mad at him.”

“Of course I’m still mad!” Minhyuk huffs. “He might be able to bribe you with a good fuck but that doesn’t work on me.” He pulls too firmly at the laces, and Kihyun turns around to stop him, grabbing his hands.

“Min, please-”

“No, don’t Min-please me. I haven't seen you crying like that since... you know when, and it just fucked me up, okay?”

Kihyun cups Minhyuk’s face with his hands. “I scared you.” 

“You did,” Minhyuk whispers in response.

“I'm sorry.”

“Yeah, whatever.” He grabs Kihyun’s arms, trying to pull his hands away from him.

“No, look at me,” Kihyun demands, not letting go. “I’m really sorry, okay? You don’t have to worry anymore. He and I, we talked. We’re official now and I’m actually happy. Please be happy with me.”

“Hmpf, I’m still going to murder him if he makes you cry again.”

“Okay,“ Kihyun chuckles. “I love you,” he says, pulling their lips together and Minhyuk sighs in defeat. He pulls Kihyun even closer because they both need it, the reassurance that they still have each other.

Then, Minhyuk breaks away first. “Okay, you’re forgiven and now, turn around, hun,” he says. “I’m almost done and then, please put some warm clothes on. You’re hands are freezing cold.”

Kihyun holds his hands up to Minhyuk with a pout. “You could warm them for me.”

Minhyuk snorts. “Oh no, honey. You gave that job to someone else.” He turns Kihyun forcefully around, focusing on finishing the lacing.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's the second to last chapter. Are you still on board?

“Ki!” 

Someone grabs Kihyun's arm, when he and Minhyuk have just passed the bouncers and were about to enter the club. Kihyun turns around and is faced with Hoseok's handsome smile. “Hyung!” he exclaims, returning that smile instantly.

“I’ll go in first, then,” Minhyuk says, waving a greeting at Hoseok before disappearing through the club's entrance.

“Ki.” Hoseok pulls him into a hug, and Kihyun throws his arms around him, enjoying the familiar scent of his cologne. Ah, it still feels so good, even if they cancelled the kissing.

“Hyung, you always smell so nice,” Kihyun murmurs into Hoseok's neck and Hoseok laughs, patting Kihyun's head, stroking a few lost strands of the long black hair back into place. 

“Are you drunk, sweetheart?”

“No, just tipsy,” Kihyun chuckles, breaking the hug and noticing the tall guy next to his hyung.

“That's Hyungwon,” Hoseok says.

Kihyun's eyes go wide. What a fucking stunning person. With his greyish blond hair and that eyeliner on his lower waterline, he looks so otherworldly beautiful, Kihyun would like to touch him just to see if he's real. But instead he offers his best smile. “Hi, I'm Kihyun,” he says, and then Hyungwon's eyes go wide.

“Like THE Kihyun?” he asks, shifting his gaze to Hoseok, and Kihyun likes that somehow, how these words make him sound important.

Hoseok laughs. “Yeah, THE Kihyun.” 

Hyungwon looks back at Kihyun, mustering him. “You're tiny.”

Kihyun laughs. “I like him,” he says to Hoseok, his eyes not leaving this beautiful diamond.

“I'm glad,” Hoseok chuckles, taking both of Kihyun's hands into his, breathing some hot air onto them. “Go inside, hun. It's cold.”

“What about you?”

“We still have… something to talk about.”

“Mhm, alright. See you inside, then,” he says, squeezing Hoseok's hands in encouragement for whatever talk they’re going to have.

Inside the club, Kihyun leaves his coat at the coat check before heading downstairs to the club area. The music is loud and the heavy beats are banging in his lungs. Kihyun is watching the crowded dance floor while making his way to their usual spot, when he's suddenly pulled into someone’s arms, and thank the gods, he'd recognize this body anywhere at any time. It’s his favorite one.

“This dress is killing me,” Changkyun says, exploring the lacy part at Kihyun’s shoulders and then running his hands down Kihyun's back until they reach his ass. 

“Don't die just yet or you'll miss the aftershow,” Kihyun chuckles, pressing himself flush against Changkyun, wanting to kiss him but Changkyun leans back, holding something up in front of him.

“Could you please wear this tonight?” he asks.

Kihyun takes the item out of his hands. When he realizes that it's a headband with cat ears, he can't help but laugh out loud. He puts it on immediately and adjusts the side fringe of his shoulder-length wig. “Is this what you had in mind?” He grins, making a fist to imitate a paw. He pretends to lick it and to rub his eye and cat ear, saying “nyan nyan” with what he considers a cute anime voice.

“Fuck.” Changkyun turns away, holding his nose, as if to stop a nosebleed, and Kihyun laughs, reaching out to him, turning him back, just to be met with Changkyun's lips pressing hungrily against his. 

“Let me fuck you in a restroom stall, please,” Changkyun begs into Kihyun's ear.

“No, you know the rules. No public restroom sex,” Kihyun answers stoically, although he’s more than ready to rip off that damn tape. But Kihyun hates public restrooms. They’re disgusting. They make him think he'd be contaminated by some fungal infection by just dropping his pants, or pulling up his skirt, whatever. They make him lose his boner within seconds, there's no point in trying.

Changkyun groans frustrated, sliding his tongue into Kihyun's mouth and Kihyun takes it all. Loving all this lust radiating from his boyfriend, being as much frustrated about the poor hygiene in public restrooms. Then, someone bumps into them, and they break apart to keep their balance. It’s Minhyuk passing by and sticking his tongue out at him. Kihyun returns the gesture.

 

Later that night, after a few more drinks and a lot of dancing, Kihyun suddenly feels too drunk and too hot. He leaves Minhyuk on the dance floor, heading upstairs in need of some fresh air but as soon as he reaches the top stairs he feels completely out of breath, clutching to his chest and cursing Minhyuk for releasing his anger while lacing the fucking corset. Kihyun forces himself up the last two stairs, leaning against the wall as soon as he leaves the staircase. The cool surface feels so nice, but it's not enough to stop the room from spinning and the corset seems to get tighter by the minute. Kihyun closes his eyes, swallowing down a moan. He can't say if it feels too fucking tight or too fucking good. Is there a difference anyway? Ah, fuck. The tape is preventing the blood flow from reaching his dick and it fucking hurts. He whimpers, sliding along the wall for the next best cold spot but it’s pointless. He needs Changkyun to take him home. Like right now. Fuck, it's so hard to breathe, he can't focus. But there's suddenly a cool hand at his cheek and Kihyun sighs, welcoming the cold touch.

“Ki, what's wrong?” It's Hoseok's voice and Kihyun opens his eyes to be met with a worried look on his hyungs face.

“It's too hot and too tight,” Kihyun breathes, pressing himself further against the wall.

“You mean the corset?” 

Kihyun just nods, closing his eyes again for another second. Fuck, he's so horny, it hurts so fucking much.

“Shit.” Hoseok strokes the fringe out of Kihyun's face. “Give me a minute, Ki. I'll be right back,” he says before turning to Hyungwon. “Can you keep an eye on him while I'm looking for his boyfriend?” 

“Sure.” The tall beauty replies, leaning against the wall next to Kihyun, facing him. “What's with the cat ears?” he asks as soon as Hoseok's gone. “You a furry or what?”

Kihyun snorts. “If that's what Kyunnie wants me to be, then yes.” 

“Is he the one you chose over Hoseok?”

“How old are you to drop the honorifics?” Kihyun asks amused, unable to laugh because of the pressure on his ribs. He tries to adjust the corset to breathe more easily, but the lacing won't give in. Damn Minhyuk and his mad skills.

“We fuck. Isn't that enough to drop them?”

Kihyun manages a huff instead of a laugh. “You want to be close with him. That's cute.”

“How did you do it?” Hyungwon asks with a furrowed brow.

“Do what?”

“Make him talk about you the way he does.”

“You want my advice?”

“Maybe.”

But then, Hoseok returns with Changkyun, fucking finally, and their conversation is cut off.

“Hey baby,” Changkyun says, cupping Kihyun's face. “Are you okay?”

Kihyun reaches out to him, holding onto his shirt. “The corset is a little too tight. It hurts.” And it’s too hot, and he’s so drunk and he just wants to get fucked. 

“Is it the one with hooks in front?” He touches Kihyun's chest to find the top edge of the corset through the fabric of the dress. But Kihyun grabs his arms to stop him.

“No, wait. I might like it. I'm not sure. I just wanna go home.” He’s such a mess.

Changkyun laughs. “Remember the aftershow you mentioned? There's non if you faint on the way home.”

Kihyun can't argue with that and let's go of his arms. Changkyun tries to get a good hold of the corset on both sides, he pulls them against each other with a little bit of strength until the first hook opens up and Kihyun grabs Changkyun's shoulders because it gets a little dark for a second. Changkyun repeats the motion until a second hook opens up and Kihyun can suddenly expand his chest again to get enough air into his lungs. He almost collapses from the relief but instead he quickly puts his hands back onto Changkyun's arms, preventing him from opening more hooks. The torture is gone, so there’s no need to lose the sweet as well. “It's enough,” he says. “It's better now.”

“Are you sure? You still look distressed. I could just open anoth-”

“No, it's not the corset anymore. Let's solve the rest at home, okay?”

“Okay,” Changkyun chuckles, giving Kihyun a kiss on the head. “I'll get our coats.”

“I'll come with you,” Hoseok says and they walk towards the coat check.

Kihyun sighs, leaning back against the wall, noticing that Hyungwon is still watching him.

“What about your advice?” The blond boy asks as soon as Kihyun's attention is back on him.

Kihyun chuckles, sizing him up. "Your long legs are really hot,” he starts. “If you’d like to keep him for more than a few nights, wear some thigh-high stockings. The lacy ones. He’ll go nuts. He might even fall for you. I’m not kidding.”

"Okay, I'll... think about it,” Hyungwon says with a neutral expression. “Cute lisp by the way."

"Thanks," Kihyun grins, so very much ready for Changkyun to take him home.

 

The moment they enter the apartment, Kihyun starts pressing their lips together and pulling at Changkyun’s jacket. Changkyun turns them around, pushing Kihyun against the door until it falls shut, getting rid of said jacket and helping Kihyun to drop his coat. They kick off their shoes, breaking the kiss only for Kihyun to hop of the floor and embrace Changkyun’s hips with his legs. Changkyun instantly cups Kihyun’s ass, sliding one hand under the hem of the dress.

“My bed or yours?” Changkyun breathes, biting Kihyun’s lip.

“Your bed,” Kihyun pants. “I want it to be always your bed.”

Changkyun chuckles, riding the fabric of the dress further up until his hand reaches the corset. “Shall we get rid of your bed, then?”

“Uh, fuck yes, let’s sell it,” Kihyun moans, leaning against the door, starting to peel off the tape in the front.

Changkyun slides one hand to the back, fumbling at the tape from the other side. “We could turn your room into a study room.”

“Kyunah,” Kihyun groans, banging his head back against the door in frustration and the fringe is covering his eyes. “Can we please rearrange the apartment later? I’m suffering here.”

“Mhm,” Changkyun grins, reaching out for Kihyun’s lips again, taking him into his room.

 

When Kihyun is finally lying on Changkyun’s bed, his dress already on the floor, and Changkyun comfortable between Kihyun’s legs, Changkyun suddenly asks: “When did you start this?”

“Start what?” Kihyun covers his eyes with his arms. The room is spinning and yet nothing goes fast enough, when Changkyun starts to pull off the tape.

“I mean cross-dressing.”

Kihyun hisses at the pull on his skin. He definitely needs to invest in better tape. “I don’t know, maybe in kindergarten.” Minhyuk had been dressing him up in his cousin’s clothes and everyone was praising Kihyun for being so cute and pretty. He loved the attention so much that at some point, he started to ask Minhyuk to dress him up again, and again. It might’ve gone out of control a little.

“That’s early.” Changkyun kisses the irritated skin before pulling further.

“I stopped for a few years though.” When he got older, when the praise turned into “you’re too old for this silly game” and “stop embarrassing us”. There was only Minhyuk, still telling him how pretty he was. He would steal his mother’s lipstick for Kihyun and paint his lips in pretty colors when they were left alone in Minhyuk's room to play.

Kihyun moans loudly, when Changkyun manages to peel off all of the tape at the front and Kihyun can finally pull out his dick. He usually puts some paper towel between the skin of his penis and the tape to avoid unnecessary difficulties, it pays off every fucking time, and Kihyun bites his hand when the blood finally rushes down into his dick without any hindrance.

“When did it turn sexual?” Changkyun asks, raising Kihyun’s hips to pull off the rest of the tape, while licking over his thighs. Kihyun shivers.

“You really wanna hear how Min and I started touching each other?” his chuckle turns into another moan, when Changkyun’s lips reach Kihyun’s shaft.

“Depends,” Changkyun says, scrunching the peeled off tape, pushing it away, while nibbling his way up to the tip. “Is the story good?”

Kihyun puts his legs around Changkyun’s shoulders, crossing his ankles at the back, pulling him closer. “Oh, it’s good. It’s so good.” He buries his hands in Changkyun’s hair, pushing himself gently into Changkyun’s mouth. “Ah, fuck.” It’s really so fucking good. He rocks his hips up once more, and Changkyun squeezes Kihyun’s ass, taking him deeper. Uhh, yes, fuck yes. He repeats the motion, sliding out of Changkyun's mouth and pushing back in with a moan. He arches up, feeling the tightness of the corset stopping him halfway, and it's so sweet, the room can keep spinning. Kihyun doesn’t care.

Changkyun reaches blindly for the lube, and Kihyun hisses, pushing his hips higher at the cold touch of Changkyun's coated fingers stroking his entrance. Changkyun takes him fully in, humming in approval, before moving his lips up to the tip, sucking at the head while pushing the first finger in. Kihyun fists Changkyun's hair harder, inhaling sharply at the added sensation, and Changkyun starts to move his hand.

“If you keep up both, I'm not going to last long,” Kihyun says, trying to stop Changkyun's head from sucking him in again. But Changkyun just adds another finger while salivating Kihyun’s shaft further and Kihyun just surrenders. Letting go of Changkyun, he raises his arms up to his long hair, stroking over the cat ears, driving his hands through the black strands of the wig, adding yet another sensation to mess him up.

And it really doesn't take long. Changkyun is fucking him open so nicely, and licking his dick so good, Kihyun arches up again, feeling himself, feeling the orgasm building up, feeling the corset restricting him, feeling the long hair sliding over the sheets, feeling so fucking good, he just shatters into pieces, screaming out his release, while Changkyun swallows it all.

Kihyun sinks into the mattress, his breathing still heavy, feeling a little dizzy. He stretches himself, licking his lips, because that has been fucking delicious, and he’s still aroused. Even if his boner died down, there’s still this flutter in his belly and the alcohol keeps the lights on in his mind. Also the corset, the fucking tight corset doesn’t let him go.

Changkyun appears in front of him, adding to the pressure by lying down on on top of him, and Kihyun instantly lifts his legs to wrap them around Changkyun’s waist, pulling himself up for Changkyun to grind his clothed cock against his ass. Changkyun bites Kihyun’s lips with a moan and Kihyun chuckles, feeling light-headed and giddy.

“So, I guess you won't tell me how Minhyuk hyung blessed you with a kink?” Changkyun breathes with a grin on Kihyun’s lips.

Kihyun’s chuckle turns into a couch. “No,” he says still breathless, not so sure himself how much Minhyuk had been the reason for it or if he’d just been there to enable it. It doesn’t matter anyway, not right now. The room won’t stop spinning.

Kihyun puts his legs back on the mattress, biting Changkyun’s shoulder playfully, shifting his weight and Changkyun let’s him sit up, turning them around. Kihyun saddles Changkyun’s lap, running his fingers through the long strands of hair while adjusting the headband. He leans forward, and the fringe falls into his eyes but he doesn’t care much. He just cares about that big bulge under his ass and how to get it up there in the sweetest way possible.

He pushes Changkyun’s shirt up. “Instead of listening to old stories,” Kihyun says, leaning down and raising his ass up high. “Wouldn’t you rather continue what you’ve started?” He licks over Changkyun’s chest and looks up again, tilting his head in question.

Changkyun chuckles. “And here I thought you’d appreciate a minute of rest,” he says, stroking Kihyun’s back. “But I should know my kitten better, don’t I?”

“Meow,” Kihyun purrs, stretching himself into the carrass and licking his lips.

“Ah, fuck,” Changkyun groans. “You’re killing me.” He searches for the lube with his hand on the sheets, but it’s Kihyun finding it first.

He sits back up on Changkyun’s crotch, grinding himself on the still clothed bulge, while coating his own hand with the lubricant, and Changkyun is watching him, how he grabs his own half hard dick, starting to stroke himself.

“Tell me I’m pretty,” Kihyun demands, panting into the strokes.

“Kitten, you’re so pretty, I swear,” Changkyun grabs Kihyun’s thighs firmly, rubbing his crotch against Kihyun’s bottom. “I want nothing but fuck you right now.”

The words are running down Kihyun’s spine, wrapping him in sweet cotton, and he closes his eyes with a pleased sigh when his dick grows harder in his hand. 

Then, suddenly, Changkyun loses all his patience. He pushes himself further up on the bed, until his back is propped against a pillow at the headrest. He takes off his shirt and pulls Kihyun back onto his lap, and Kihyun feels the dizziness again. It’s making it impossible to focus until he feels the cold lub on his rim and a finger pushing in. He didn’t even notice when he got up on his knees, holding himself steady on the edge of the headrest above Changkyuns head. But Changkyun doesn’t waste any time and pushes yet another finger in, and Kihyun whimpers. The sweet burn is spreading through his body, making him feel so hot again, making him feel so light-headed again, while he’s breathing out his moans each time Changkyun thrusts into him. 

“Uh, Kyunah, hurry up. I need you so mu- uhh fuck” Kihyun bites into his arm, suppressing another moan and the moment Changkyun inserts a third finger, it’s over. 

Kihyun sits back down on Changkyun’s hand, forcing those fingers deeper inside, needing them much deeper inside of him. Fuck. He holds himself on Changkyun’s shoulders, smashing their lips together and rolling his hips, grinding himself on Changkyun’s hand, and his dick rubs against Changkyun’s stomach. He gasps into Changkyun’s mouth, needing more, so much more. He rolls his hips up, again and again and fuck, he's definitely back in the game. He’s so damn hard and it gets even harder to breathe. He feels so tight, his whole body feels so fucking tight. He needs it now. He needs Changkyun buried deep inside of him, opening him up so much more, stretching him so much more.

He reaches down for Changkyun's belt, pulling it open fast and impatiently, and Changkyun also can't seem to focus on fingering him anymore, helping Kihyun to push his cock free from the clothes. 

Kihyun immediately leans aside to grab a condom from the package beside them. He doesn't even ask but rolls it over Changkyun's dick and for fucks sake, Changkyun is so fucking hard, so fucking big, Kihyun bites his lip to prevent himself from drooling, instead he’s leaking precum all over his tip, while Changkyun pulls him over his cock with a moan, coating the rubber with lube by rubbing himself on Kihyun’s wet ass. Kihyun can’t wait anymore. The tightness on his ribs is making him so fucking hard, so damn dizzy, and the walls are shifting so fast. He needs Changkyun’s gorgeous cock to ground him, ground him really deep and really good. He lifts his ass up, high enough to grab Changkyun’s shaft from behind and aligns the head with his entrance, sliding himself down instantly, and Kihyun is losing his fucking mind, because fuck yes, that’s it. They both moan out loud in unison, leaving no room between them, and Changkyun pulls him closer against his chest, pressing their lips together. The slick wetness in his mouth and Changkyun's hands sliding down the corset and up again into Kihyun's hair, adding pressure on their mouths, Kihyun whimpers with so much pleasure, he can't breathe. He rolls his hips, searching for the sweetest spot, and uh fuck, he might've just found it as the lights in his mind start to flicker. 

“Uh, baby, you’re the most prettiest thing, I’m going insane,” Changkyun groans, and oh god, Kihyun feels himself getting weak but he can't stop. With Changkyun joining his rhythm by fucking up into him, he just can't fucking stop.

“Uh, fuck, Kyunah, fuck. It feels so good, oh god,” he moans breathless, picking up a faster pace, while Changkyun is holding him so tight, pushing him even firmer down his cock. Kihyun feels the urge for release building up deep in his guts. His dick still rubbing against Changkyun's abdominals giving him just the extra kick. 

“Baby, I'm going to come,” Changkyun moans, growing harder himself, grabbing Kihyun's dick. “I want you to come with me.” He starts stroking him and it doesn't take many strokes for Kihyun to scream into the wave, rolling over him, and Changkyun joins him the moment Kihyun starts spilling his release onto Changkyun's hand. 

Riding out their orgasms, Kihyun tries to catch his breath, but it suddenly feels like the corset is crushing his ribs, he just can't… he needs to… his mind starts flickering like a broken lamp. He's panting hard, but there's not enough air, nothing seems enough anymore. He can't focus on anything anymore and just feels his body tilting forward without his consent. He feels his forehead on Changkyun's shoulder, his body is completely out of his control, and he can hear Changkyun cursing “What the fuck, hyung?!” before there's suddenly something pulling frantically at his back, and then it getting completely dark.

 

The next thing Kihyun knows is that there's something cold at his face and Changkyun's deep voice getting clearer in his head.

“Hyung?”

The coldness shifts to the other side of his face. 

“Hyung, come on. Time to wake up.”

Kihyun reaches for the cold feeling and meets a hand at his face. He opens his eyes, and there’s Changkyun's worried look right in front of him.

“Hi,” Kihyun says with a shy smile.

Changkyun sighs, holding a wet cloth at Kihyun's cheek. “Hyung. You fucking fainted on me.”

“Mhm.” Kihyun pulls Changkyun’s hand away. “Seems so.”

Changkyun snorts, throwing the cloth onto the nightstand. “I'm really on board with all of your kinks, but if something like this ever happens again, I won't fuck you for a whole fucking month, you hear me?”

“Isn't that a little harsh?” Kihyun sits up, realizing the corset is gone but there's a blanket covering him. “I'm mean, I just blacked out. Others boast about fucking their partners into fainting. So can you now.” He tries it with a smile but Changkyun doesn't mirror the expression.

“Hyung, you scared the shit out of me!” Changkyun gets unusually loud, and Kihyun feels a little bit of guilt lingering somewhere inside of him.

“I'm sorry?” he says, reaching up to his hair, searching for the clips holding the wig, opening them one by one.

“Can’t you at least say it as if you'd mean it?”

Kihyun pulls the wig off his head, throwing it to the floor. “Don't tell me you're actually mad at me.” He ruffles with both hands through his short hair and sighs. He loves the wig, but taking it off is always such a nice relief.

“Actually, yes. I'm mad,” Changkyun says, still keeping his distance.

“Please don't be. I'm really sorry.” Kihyun pouts, holding up a hand for Changkyun to take it but Changkyun just pushes a small bottle of water into it.

“Mhm, sure,” he mutters. “ And still, you'd repeat it anytime, wouldn’t you?”

Kihyun takes a big gulp. It's puffing up his cheeks before he swallows the water down. He grins. “It's been quite the good fuck, I can't deny it.”

Changkyun snorts. “You're really something else.”

“And you're too far away,” Kihyun says, putting the bottle on the nightstand and lifting the blanket for Changkyun to join him.

Changkyun sighs, sliding next to Kihyun onto the cushions. “I’m mostly mad at myself,” he says, sounding tired.

“What? Why?” Kihyun pulls the blanket over their waists before resting his head on Changkyun’s chest. 

Changkyun puts his hand on Kihyun’s shoulder, stroking his soft skin. “Because when I was picking up our coats, Hoseok hyung had warned me. He said you sometimes didn’t know your limits and I had to keep an eye out for that.”

Kihyun just snorts. He’s going to have a little conversation about that with Hoseok, for sure.

“I’m sorry,” Changkyun mutters into Kihyun’s hair, pulling him closer. “I didn’t pay enough attention.”

“If you wanna blame someone, then blame Min, he’s been lacing me up quite aggressively,” Kihyun chuckles. “Although, going further back, he was angry because of you, and you’ve been weird because of me and I’m a mess because of…” He prepps himself up on his arm, looking at Changkyun with a grin. “Let’s just say, my parents are at fault.”

“Hyung,” Changkyun sighs slightly annoyed. “This is no-”

“Stop calling me hyung,” Kihyun suddenly says, remembering his conversation with that beauty at the club.

“I won’t give you pet names when I’m trying to be serious here.” 

“No, I mean, call me by my name.”

“What?”

“You know my name, don’t you?” Kihyun gives him a gentle smile. “Use it.”

“But I'm- uh, wait.” Changkyun seems flustered and Kihyun enjoys this rare sight, all the more since he's the reason for it.

“Ki...tty?” Changkyun tries, looking up at the ceiling.

“Wrong. Try again.”

“Ki… tkat?

Kihyun laughs. “You can say and do the dirtiest things with that mouth but you get shy saying my name? That’s adorable. Wait, ARE YOU BLUSHING? THIS IS A BLUSH, ISN’T IT?”

“Dammit,” Changkyun groans, using his weight to push Kihyun over into the cushions. “Listen, Kihyunah,” he says with his deepest voice possible, and Kihyun whimpers silently, catching all those new butterflies in his belly. “Do you want me to fuck you with caution from now on?”

Kihyun shakes his head. “No,” he whispers.

“Then, I need to be able to trust you, okay?”

“Okay. Can I get something like a safeword, then?” Kihyun’s grin is back and Changkyun rolls his eyes.

“Sure. Anything in mind?”

“Pythagoras.” 

Changkyun groans, burying his nose in Kihyun's neck, and Kihyun laughs, throwing his arms around him.


	16. Chapter 16

When Minhyuk finally returns home from a late shift at the bar, it’s way past midnight, and he’s tired. He doesn’t even feel the relief he definitely should be feeling after handing in his notice. Just two more months and he’s going to start his internship at the local psychiatric ward. Although, he wonders if it will ever top the practical experience he already gathered listening to the patron’s sorrows while tending the bar. He definitely deserved way more tips than he received. 

With a sigh he throws his keys onto the next best shelf, and takes off his coat and shoes before heading to the bathroom. Looking into the mirror, he rubs his face. This week's been a little difficult with his mood going places. Things are changing and that's fine but urgh, does it have to be this fast. Everything Kihyun does is either black or white. Like texting Minhyuk 24/7 every stupid thought that's crossing his mind and then suddenly not texting him at all. That little shit. If he just detached his eyes from Changkyun's dick for a second he'd see that he's not the only one being attached, that he's not the only one needing the reassurance that they’re going to stay together no matter what.

Minhyuk squeezes toothpaste on his toothbrush and sighs again. He can't even be angry with him. Kihyun's been through some shit, which made him focus a lot more on himself, and that’s okay. Minhyuk is just being weird today. They just saw each other this morning, didn’t they? They’ve been grabbing a coffee at the cafeteria before class, so there’s nothing to cry about but still, he almost choked on the bitter taste when Kihyun suddenly said: “It's him or no one.”

“What?” Minhyuk tried to cough it out.

They’ve been sitting next to each other by the window, watching fellow students walking through the cold, while they’ve been warming their hands on the paper cups in front of them.

“I mean, he's going to be my last. I won't ever want anyone else but him. He's the one.”

“Cute,” Minhyuk snorted, swallowing the bitterness down as best as he could. 

There had been a time he thought he might become that one for Kihyun. There had been a time he wanted nothing else but become that one for him. But he had tried, so hard, and it still had never been enough, and then suddenly the not enoughs turned into way too muchs, way too manys. Too many mistakes that had been made. Too many things that had been said in anger. It had scarred them. It left Kihyun feel like too much and Minhyuk like not enough. At least they split the fault equally.

After that, Minhyuk chose psychology as his major to understand what went wrong. He wanted to understand himself and Kihyun and everything that didn't fit between them. It helped him cope with the break-up. It helped him accept Kihyun's boundaries. It helped him establish his own. It gave them room to stay close, and they made it work. But on some days, Minhyuk would still notice that little sting, reminding him that he hadn’t been enough. That he had failed somehow, which was bullshit, Minhyuk knew now. But still, Kihyun was his first love. It’s never easy to see your first love settling for someone else.

“You done renovating the apartment?” Minhyuk asked, trying to lead the topic away from the things he didn’t want to hear because today was one of those days.

“We're not renovating, just moving furniture.”

“I saw you got rid of your bed.” Minhyuk had helped to choose it at the furniture shop. It was shortly after the break-up, when Kihyun decided to move out. It reminded him of being downgraded to “just friends”, and now even that was thrown out.

“Yeah, I don't need it anymore.” Kihyun raised the cup of coffee to his lips.

“Will you get rid of me as well?” The question had just slipped out of Minhyuk’s mouth.

Kihyun lowered the cup abruptly. “What?”

“Since Changkyun's apparently your one, you don't need me anymore,” Minhyuk explained, knowing he must sound like a stupid jelly. He took a sip from his coffee to busy his mouth otherwise.

“Min, what the- Why are you like this?”

“You're serious with him.”

“And you're serious with Jooheon.”

They stared at each other, until Minhyuk broke the eye contact first, turning back to the window. It was snowing a little, just enough to cover the campus with a thin layer of white, like powdered sugar. Minhyuk thought it looked pretty but also somehow lonely.

“Did you feel like this all this time, then?” he asked, keeping his eyes focused on some barely visible footsteps someone had left not too long ago. “Will it stop?”

It took Kihyun a moment to answer. “I don’t know,” he sighed. “I think I just got used to it. You will, too.”

“Maybe.”

“Come here.” Kihyun put his arm around Minyhuk’s shoulders, pulling him closer. “Even if I want him to be my last, you were my first everything and I need you in my life just as much as him.”

“Why do I still feel like losing?”

Kihyun just punched Minhyuk’s side without warning. “Because you're a spoiled and needy brat. Learn to share,” he scolded.

Minhyuk laughed, grabbing Kihyun’s tiny fist before he could hurt himself. “You’re right. I got your point.”

And he really did, but Minhyuk is still wishing Kihyun would text him to make this odd feeling go away. He puts his phone on the nightstand before slipping under the cover, and the second he feels Jooheon’s warmth, his thoughts lose all the hard edges, turning completely soft and unable to hurt him. He puts an arm around Jooheon’s waist and pulls himself closer against his back, giving him a kiss on the neck, and Jooheon wakes up, moving a little to make room for Minhyuk’s legs between his own.

“How was work?” Jooheon mumbles, still half asleep, but his hand finds Minhyuk’s hand and they interlace their fingers.

“Exhausting,” Minhyuk whispers, burying his nose in Jooheon’s hairline, leaving more kisses. He loves it so much, when Jooheon is waiting for him at home. Just one more month and it’ll be a permanent thing. He feels so lucky.

Jooheon turns around, pulling Minhyuk close, placing his lips onto Minhyuk’s mouth, and Minhyuk moans silently because he will never get used to the softness of Jooheon’s lower lip. This pretty thing, that can pout so sweetly, that can be such a danger to Minhyuk’s sanity. He cups it with his lips, licking over the smooth surface until Jooheon opens his mouth slightly, just enough to make room for Minhyuk’s tongue to slip in and taste that little note of toothpaste that is still lingering there. Minhyuk can feel his body going limp, letting go of every tension that’s been haunting him throughout the day. Only Jooheon can do that to him. Only he knows how to use this magic on him, and Minhyuk is so thankful to the universe that this boy walked into the bar a year ago, asking for the weirdest cocktails before asking for his number. It’s been such a confusing experience, after dealing with Kihyun’s hypersexuality for so long, to just go on dates with someone who didn’t show any sexual attraction at all. After the fifth date without any physical moves from Jooheon’s side, Minhyuk tried to accept his notion that Jooheon was just looking for friendship until they finally kissed on the seventh date. 

“And here I was thinking that you weren’t interested in me like that,” Minhyuk had said.

“I am, very much. But I wanted to get to know you first,” Jooheon answered. “Can we kiss some more?”

He really didn’t need to ask.

Since that day, Minhyuk loves Jooheon’s kisses. It’s always kissing just for the sake of kissing, and it gives Minhyuk so much freedom to enjoy it. He loves Jooheon for kissing him that way, for making it beautiful and soft and calming. Minhyuk doesn’t feel forced to feel anything but what he’s actually feeling. He can feel aroused but in an easy-going kind of way. In a way he can just feel good and see what happens, even if it's just falling asleep side by side. Minhyuk loves it. He doesn’t like fire to burn him down. He loves a gentle warmth while holding his lovers hand. It makes it so much more enjoyable when that hand decides to slide further down, so very naturally, still not really asking for anything, just exploring. Yes, Minhyuk loves the kissing the most, but he also likes the sex. Because it’s never a hasty kind of thing but more an easing into it. It is just as beautiful and soft as their kisses, and Jooheon feels so good under him. Jooheon makes him feel so good in generell. 

Before Jooheon, Minhyuk didn’t know who he was. He didn’t have an identity of his own with every of his moves circling around Kihyun in some ways. Minhyuk just knew what he wasn’t. He wasn’t enough. And every time he saw that look in Kihyun’s eyes, that one telling him that Kihyun was hurt and wanted to run, that whatever they had left to be, wasn’t enough to make him stay, it would make Minhyuk’s guts freeze over, scaring him to the bones. Because who was he without his best friend? Maybe less than not enough. But Jooheon gave him something to be. He gave him room to explore and find out who he was and what he liked and what he didn’t like and on some nights, just like this one, Minhyuk knew that if it wasn’t for Jooheon helping him grow, he probably wouldn’t be able to keep up with Kihyun.

“Have you heard of the corset incident?” He had asked Jooheon a few weeks ago.

Jooheon chuckled. “Yeah, some snippets of it.”

“You know what he said, when I was yelling at him? 'Calm down, Min. We have a safeword now.’ I'm going to get bald because of him!” Minhyuk groaned.

“But isn't that safeword thing a mature solution for this problem?”

“Joo, honey, my love,” Minhyuk sighed. “We're talking about Kihyunnie here. His problem is that he likes things too much to want them to stop. You get it? He will never use that stupid safeword, and he knows it.”

Jooheon just laughed. “Don't worry. Changkyun’s probably aware. He'll figure something out. He's good at solving such things.”

“He better be!” Despite it all, Minhyuk can’t deny how well Changkyun is handling Kihyun. How well they're handling each other.

After Minhyuk had been done scolding Kihyun for his stupidity, they've been watching a movie on the couch until Changkyun came home. 

“Hyung,” Changkyun had called Kihyun from his room a moment later. “Have you seen my headphones?”

But Kihyun didn't react, and Changkyun came out of his room. “Hyung?”

Kihyun still didn't react, but Minhyuk saw that sly grin on his lips.

Changkyun cleared his throat. “Kihyunah.”

“Yeah,” Kihyun suddenly answered. “You left them on my desk,” he said, grinning like a fool, and Minhyuk rolled his eyes. He was just about to comment their stupid new game but closed his mouth as soon as he saw that light rosy blush blooming on Changkyun’s cheeks. It was so fascinating Minhyuk would’ve liked to watch and analyze their new dynamic some more, but they both suddenly got that glitter in their eyes, which was definitely his clue to go home.

Yes, things are changing, but most of them for the better, for both of them. They can both be themselves now and as a result be better friends for each other. Maybe, now that there’s someone giving Kihyun all the attention he always wanted, and with Jooheon moving in, Minhyuk could take a step back and see what’s left of his other dreams he almost forgot about. Maybe, he could go back to his parents house, looking for his old sketchbooks and start painting again. Maybe,...

He hasn’t even noticed that he fell asleep, that he and Jooheon both fell asleep with their noses touching each other, until a notification on his phone brought his consciousness back. He turns around to mute his phone for the night but there’s a text from Kihyun waiting on his lock screen, and Minhyuk replies with a smile.

_I hope you got home safe from work_  
_But don’t you dare to oversleep and make me wait in the cold tomorrow_  
_I will hate you_  
_though I love you too much_  
_Good night_

_Shut up_  
_If you want me to wake up early let me sleep ffs_  
_btw I love you too_  
_Good night_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~THE END~~
> 
>  
> 
> Thank you so much for reading, and thank you even more for your kudos and comments. Because of you, I didn't feel lonely on this journey ♡
> 
> However, I'm sad. There are so many scenes that didn't make it into the final cut. Maybe I'll post them later as drabbles just to get them out of my heart. I don't know.
> 
> But let's meet again soon ♡
> 
> [EDIT] Read some deleted scenes [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16761856/chapters/39327031)


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